Author Topic: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK  (Read 8416 times)

Offline hal4uk

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #15 on: November 15, 2010, 11:54:46 AM »
Hal - I live in Sarasota, its about an hour south of where you were at.  Next time your in town let me know.

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Offline SouthernSmoked

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #16 on: November 15, 2010, 12:56:18 PM »
It's been a minute since I've been there...

Hellas Restaurant, I'm thinking Gyro's!

Thanks Hal - now I'm hungry again.
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Offline hal4uk

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #17 on: November 15, 2010, 02:06:51 PM »
Hellas Restaurant, I'm thinking Gyro's!
Yup!!!

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Offline bigmikey

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #18 on: January 09, 2011, 11:55:50 PM »
Speaking of hot

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that courseof action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'you're definitely going to $h!tyourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful,which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the nextday both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off. Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups ofcoffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson'sMovement 2'. Despite habanero peppers swimming their way through myintestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referredto by my next door neighbors as 'thunder and lightning'. Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, Ibravely set off for the market, a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits. Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I wasat the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'mreferring to that 'Uh, Oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at thewrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines,forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take onestep in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, ithappened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in anoxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly,oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and Ibegan to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate. Have youever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean,and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walkedinto an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terriblethat all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to standthere blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to wardoff angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made melaugh. .......BIG mistake!!!!! Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down',if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forthfrom my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told afew folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing thestore and firing off a shotgun. Suddenly things were no longer funny. 'It' was coming, and I raced offthrough the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way,praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began theinevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my ass isburning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middleof what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe' . He made a gagging sound,and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left. Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cartintending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached meand said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appearssome prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going torun the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care ofthe problem.' That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return. Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they're going to have to repaint the store..

Offline La Quinta

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2011, 12:35:56 AM »
This is a story that soo reminds me of my husband in a video store....the horror of it was beyond me and he thought it was funny.....he ducked into another isle to watch the people experience the "aroma"....he's an evil man....  :D (made me laugh tho)!!!!  He did come over and tell me what he did...we kinda laughed the whole way home!!!!  :D

Offline Waltz

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Re: WARNING: NOT FOR EVERYONE--VIEW AT YOUR OWN RISK
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2011, 04:08:26 AM »
I had a similar experience - just made it to the store rest room and just in the middle of things had the great satisfaction of overhearing a conversation between two guys who came in behind me saying "Geez, this place smells like a sh1thse", which I thought was quite fitting.