Not too early to get ready for next Valentines Day

Started by Caneyscud, February 16, 2011, 06:47:44 AM

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Caneyscud

For all you guys who waited to the last minute and all you could find were the roses with the browned edges.  Memorize this poem now for next year.  It'll help!

TO MY VALENTINE!

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
we go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds . . . IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!
"A man that won't sleep with his meat don't care about his barbecue" Caneyscud



"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

dman4505

Most excellent verse, sure got a chuckle from that one

Don
"I am a soldier, I fight where I am told, and I win where I fight."

The Man's Prayer: I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.

jiggerjams


TestRocket


Caneyscud

Quote from: TestRocket on February 16, 2011, 10:53:40 AM
I'd wake up with the trolling motor...    ::)

There's a problem with that?  Doesn't everybody?

"A man that won't sleep with his meat don't care about his barbecue" Caneyscud



"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

Gaston Guy


Quarlow

Quote from: TestRocket on February 16, 2011, 10:53:40 AM
I'd wake up with the trolling motor...    ::)
Ok you forgot the part about having to pull it from your butt when you finally awoke from the coma.  :D :D :D
I like to walk threw life on the path of least resistance. But sometimes the path needs a good kick in the ass.

OBS
BBQ
One Big Easy, plus one in a box.

BuyLowSellHigh

That's a good one Caney !

Reminds me of an old HBO commercial that suggested staying home on Saturday nights to watch HBO was better than going out on a date...

door opens and there stands a young urban cowboy who looks like one who might recite this poem to his special one, dressed in his best jeans and western hat, looking inside and smiling, and he says,   "You look finer than a new set of snow tires".
I like animals, they taste good!

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