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Author Topic: Funny story of the day  (Read 479214 times)

Offline coyote

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #15 on: March 29, 2007, 06:24:54 pm »
Why do I pay a prep service ??? ???.........Good stuff guys , Coyote

Offline LilSmoker

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2007, 10:48:01 pm »
Haha! nice 1 Boybach!  ;D ;)
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Offline coyote

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #17 on: March 31, 2007, 11:06:41 pm »
Susie Lee, done fell in love, she planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all , she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, Susie Gal, you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon your Ma don't know, but Joe is your have brother.

So Susie put aside her Joe and planned to marry Will .
But after telling Pappy this , he said there's trouble still.

You can't marry Will, my Susie Gal, and please don't tell your mother.
But Will and Joe...and several mo', I know is your half brother.

But Mamma knew and said, my child, Just do what makes you happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe , 'cause you aint no kin to Pappy


                                                    Coyote ;D
                             
« Last Edit: March 31, 2007, 11:09:12 pm by coyote »

Offline Boybach

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2007, 01:45:34 am »
Great 1 Coyote
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
BB

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Offline West Coast Kansan

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #19 on: April 01, 2007, 08:20:01 am »
  :D  :D  :D

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Offline Cajun

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2007, 12:21:30 pm »

                   The WASH CLOTH
 There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!) I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early One morning, I received A call from the doctor's office to tell me there was A cancellation and The 9:30am appointment was available.  I took it. I had Only just packed Everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't Have Any time To spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when Making such visits, But this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full Effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was Sitting next to The sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to Make Sure I was at least  Presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes Basket, donned some  Clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the  Procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked Over at the other  Side of the room and pretended that I  Was in Paris or some  Other such glamorous Place a million miles away.  I was a little surprise When the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra  Effort this morning,  Haven't we?" I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of Relief and went home. The rest Of the Day was normal... Some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.  After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out  From the  Bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"   I told her to get another one from the cupboard.  She replied,  "No!!!". Now wait for it......., this is too funny not to be true!! She yelled, " I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all  My glitter And sparkles saved inside it."
There is a place for all of Gods animals right next to the mashed potatos and gravy

Offline boxertrio

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #21 on: April 04, 2007, 01:46:59 pm »
Now thats funny....love it when the gals go that extra mile..... ;D


Here ya go..

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American
>> engineer are walking together one day.
>> They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
>>
>>
>> "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the
>> Genie.
>>
>>
>> The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
>> also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada "
>>
>>
>> Pooooof!
>> With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made
>> fertile for farming.
>>
>>
>> Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want an impenetrable wall
>> around Afghanistan , Iraq and Iran with all believers of Mohammad inside
>> and all Jews, Americans,and other infidel forever outside our precious
>> state.
>>
>>
>> "Pooooof!
>> Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around
>> those countries..
>>
>>
>> The American engineer asks, "I am very curious.
>> Please tell me more about this wall". The Genie explains , "Well, it's
>> 200 feet high, 100 feet thick and completely surrounds these
>> countries........it's virtually impenetrable.
>> Now what is your wish?"
>>
>>
>> The American engineer smiles and says,
>> "Fill it with water."
>>
>>
>> Pooooof!
>> WORLD PEACE
>>
>


OR this one


An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The
doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said "Things are
great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is
pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?"
     
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began.  "I
have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never
misses a season. One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a
bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of
his gun.  As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver
sitting at the water's edge.  He realized he'd left his gun at home and
so couldn't shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised
his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting
rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the
beaver fell over dead.  Now, what do you think of that?" asked the
doctor.   
 
The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver." 
 
The doctor replied, "My point exactly.




edit...spelling
« Last Edit: April 04, 2007, 01:51:48 pm by boxertrio »
--"Fight back! Whenever you are offered violence, fight back! The aggressor does not fear the law, so he must be taught to fear you. Whatever the risk, and at whatever the cost, fight back!" -- Lt. Colonel Jeff Cooper; USMC

Offline West Coast Kansan

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2007, 09:48:27 pm »
  :D  :D :D Pretty Good!

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Offline coyote

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2007, 09:52:36 pm »
 :D ;D :o

Offline LilSmoker

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2007, 10:50:18 pm »
 Haha! keep em coming i say!  ;D ;)
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Offline Wildcat

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #25 on: April 05, 2007, 06:42:23 am »
 ;D ;D
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.



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Offline Boybach

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #26 on: April 05, 2007, 08:00:17 am »
 ;D ;D ;D

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Offline LilSmoker

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #27 on: April 05, 2007, 12:17:45 pm »
Another.........

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.

"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."

"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."  ;D
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Offline boxertrio

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #28 on: April 05, 2007, 04:07:02 pm »
Two Ladies talking In Heaven

1st woman: Hi! 'My name is Wanda.'
 2nd woman: Hi! 'I'm Sylvia.  How did you die?'
 1st woman: 'I froze to death.'
 2nd woman: 'How horrible!'
 1st woman: 'It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
 to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?'

 2nd woman: 'I died of a massive heart attack.  I suspected that my 
husband  was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, 
I  found him all by himself watching TV.'


 1st woman: 'So, what happened?'
 
2nd woman: 'I was so sure that there was another woman there somewhere,
that I started running all over the house looking.  I ran up into the
 attic, and down into the basement.  Then I went through every closet and
 checked under all the beds.  I kept this up until I had looked 
everywhere,  and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart
 attack and died.'

 1st woman: 'Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both still be 
alive.'

--"Fight back! Whenever you are offered violence, fight back! The aggressor does not fear the law, so he must be taught to fear you. Whatever the risk, and at whatever the cost, fight back!" -- Lt. Colonel Jeff Cooper; USMC

Offline Wildcat

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Re: Funny story of the day
« Reply #29 on: April 06, 2007, 06:10:27 am »
 ;D
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.



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