Funny story of the day

[classicrockgriller]

So how was your weekend CRG ?  ;D

Not too bad. ;D

[squirtthecat]

Fly art.  Here's how:

1. Kill a few flies.
2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.
3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper and let your imagination flow...
                                                                     
A few examples...

[Ka Honu]

stc - You've got way too much time on your hands."

[TMB]

stc - You've got way too much time on your hands."

LOL  :D :D :D   that's funny, sick but funny!

[classicrockgriller]

Holy Fly Sh*t!

New Key board today, spit coffee on this one. ;D

[KevinG]

 :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D

[OU812]

Those are too funny.

I got an email a wile ago that had about 20 of those pictures.

Busted a gut then and busted a gut now.

[Tiny Tim]

Reminds me of one day in a study hall.  A buddy and I killed about 40 flies, and since we were both in the band, lined the corpses up like our marching band. ;D

[KevinG]

I guess that's better than stuffing them in a trumpet.  ;D

[classicrockgriller]

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills.  He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.  He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the jar?"   
"Well..., you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Lexus."   
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up, so he asks, "What are the three tests?"   
"You gotta pay first," says the bartender, "those are the rules."
So, after thinking it over a while, the man gives the bartender $10 which he stuffs into the jar.
"Okay," says the bartender, "here's what you need to do:   
First - You have to drink a whole quart of tequila, in 60 seconds or less, and you can't make a face while doing it."
"Second - There's a pit bull chained in the back with a bad tooth.  You have to remove that tooth with your bare hands." 
"Third - There's a 90-year old lady upstairs who's never had sex.  You have to take care of that problem."
The man is stunned!  "I know I paid my $10 -- but I'm not an idiot!  I won't do it!  You'd have to be nuts to drink a quart of tequila, and then do all those other things!"

"Your call," says the bartender, "but, your money stays where it is."

As time goes on, the man has a few more drinks and finally says, "Where's the damn tequila?!"

He grabs the bottle with both hands and drinks it as fast as he can.  Tears stream down both cheeks -- but he doesn't make a face -- and he drinks it in 58 seconds!
Next, he staggers out the back door where he sees the pit bull chained to a pole.  Soon, the people inside the bar hear loud growling, screaming, and sounds of a terrible fight -- then nothing, but silence!

Just when they think that the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar.  His clothes are ripped to shreds and he's bleeding from bites and gashes all over his body.   He drunkenly says, "Now..., where's that old woman with the bad tooth?"

[Quarlow]

 :D :D :D They always told me Tequila will make me do stupid things. This proofs the point.

[Wildcat]

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !

[FLBentRider]

Some of these I understand, others not so much!

My Comments are noted in Bold italics

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Gold bullion, gold dust, and nonmanufactured precious metals.

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Plumage and skins of wild birds.

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Replica or inert munitions, as well as other devices that simulate explosive devices or munitions, including replica or inert grenades or other simulated military munitions, whether or not such items are for display purposes.

Reprints of Canadian or British works copyrighted in Canada.

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Shipments bearing caution labels indicating the contents are flammable.

Smoke-making devices for motor vehicles and boats. So the Bradley Propane Smoker is out

Used or secondhand hives or bee supplies. I'm sure the bees union had something to do with this

[ArnieM]

"Radioactive materials."  Habanero ABTs?

[classicrockgriller]

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas..

The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music..

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody

Was staring at me.... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.. ;D