I have received messages of concern from quite a few of you because I have not posted in some time. Since Feb, I just have not been able to get myself into much of anything. It just don't seem worth the effort to cook/smoke for one so I have not done much. I made jerky a couple of times and gave most of it away. I am just now begining to climb out of the hole I dug myself into so look for me to be around some. I did make some ABT's for a group of friends the weekend before last. It's been very hard folks, but I will make it thru this. I thank you all very much for your concern and blessings.
Nathan
Our posts never crossed paths but welcome back nevertheless.
I admire your spirit and wish you all the luck.
HR
Ok, I will be the first to volunteer. You can smoke for me anytime! I know it is a big sacrifice on my part, but hey, sacrifice is my middle name! All attempts at humor aside, my friend, it is great to hear from you again! Real good! Knowing what you have been through all I can say is that you're a good man - don't know how I would handle it! Call on me anytime. You are in my thoughts and prayers often.
Sherlock, your post could have been written by me. I too just do not feel like cooking/smoking the way I did when Dad was here. Thoughts and prayers are with you as we both recover from a painful loss.
Nice to see you back sherlock, you take good care. :)
Good to have you back Nathan. Keep moving forward. You will come out on the other side.
KyNola
Nathan;
Good to see you posting again. I'm looking forward to seeing many more.
Welcome Nathan,
Good to hear from you. Hang in there brother.
Brad
Good to see you back Nathan
I too am glad to see you posting again. If you and/or Tiny need to get away for awhile, my home is your home.
Welcome back Nathan.
We'll keep you in our prayers.
Quote from: Wildcat on October 20, 2009, 05:40:56 PM
I too am glad to see you posting again. If you and/or Tiny need to get away for awhile, my home is your home.
Thanks for the offer, Wildcat. If you were say, 500 miles closer, I'd take ya up on that offer.
Thanks everyone. Still having trouble controling my emotions. I'm sorry this is not the place to air my problems. I will be back someday.
Sherlock,
ever since I have joined this forum and from minute one I felt that I am with special people who care and 100% unjudgemental. You would be safe here even if you decided to speak out about your problems.
Remember this, if you let it inside, it controls you. If you let it out, YOU control IT.
HR
Quote from: sherlock on October 21, 2009, 04:47:02 AM
Thanks everyone. Still having trouble controling my emotions. I'm sorry this is not the place to air my problems. I will be back someday.
Welcome back Sherlock!! This is the perfect place to "air your problems" Your among friends who will try and help any way they can!!
Sherlock I received this today and I immediately thought of you and your statement of not wanting to air your problem. Hope it helps.
A mouse looked through the crack in the wall
to see the farmer and his wife open a package.
"What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered.
He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.
Retreating to the farmyard,
the mouse proclaimed this warning :
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The chicken clucked and scratched,
raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse,
I can tell this is a grave concern to you,
but it is of no consequence to me.
I cannot be bothered by it."
The mouse turned to the pig and told him,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The pig sympathized, but said,
"I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse,
but there is nothing I can do about it
but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."
The mouse turned to the cow and said,
"There is a mousetrap in the house!
There is a mousetrap in the house!"
The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you,
but it's no skin off my nose."
So, the mouse returned to the house,
head down and dejected,
to face the farmer's mousetrap
. . . Alone. . .
That very night
a sound was heard throughout the house
-- the sound Of a mousetrap catching its prey.
The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.
In the darkness, she did not see it.
It was a venomous snake
whose tail was caught in the trap.
The snake bit the farmer's wife.
The farmer rushed her to the hospital.
When she returned home she still had a fever.
Everyone knows you treat a fever
with fresh chicken soup.
So the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard
for the soup's main ingredient: Chicken
But his wife's sickness continued.
Friends and neighbors
came to sit with her
around the clock.
To feed them,
the farmer butchered the pig.
But, alas,
the farmer's wife did not get well...
She died.
So many people came for her funeral
that the farmer had the cow slaughtered
to provide enough meat for all of them
for the funeral luncheon.
And the mouse looked upon it all
from his crack in the wall
with great sadness.
So, the next time you hear
someone is facing a problem
and you think it doesn't concern you,
remember ---
When one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.
We are all involved in this journey called life.
We must keep an eye out for one another
and make an extra effort
to encourage one another.
Sherlock I am more than willing to help you get rid of your MOUSETRAP, If you need any help let me know I will do what I can.
Chris
Thats a great story 10.5. Sherlock if there is anything I can do ease your burden I am also willing to do what I can. People need to reach out in life as was done years ago. When someone was in need the community help out. Raise a burn that burned down or nurse a sick neihbor back to health. This is something that is missing in the world of hustle and bustle. We're there for you Brother. Just say the word.
Colin
Hang in there Nathan...just know there are a boatload of people who care about you and what you are going through...I proudly count myself as one of them...you have been missed...so come back and let us entertain you at least!!!! :)
Nathan there isn't much I can add to what LQ, Q and 10.5 have said except throw my hat in with the others'.
Hang in there and let us know if there is anything we can do.
HR
Quote from: Tiny Tim on October 20, 2009, 08:28:54 PM
Quote from: Wildcat on October 20, 2009, 05:40:56 PM
I too am glad to see you posting again. If you and/or Tiny need to get away for awhile, my home is your home.
Thanks for the offer, Wildcat. If you were say, 500 miles closer, I'd take ya up on that offer.
Tiny - if I was 500 miles closer I would be in cold weather. :D
All kidding aside, the offer is genuine and there for the taking. If it were not for all the medical appointments I have scheduled for the next two months, I would extend that offer to go to you guys and help in any way possible since I am retired.
Thank you all so very much. Mary Kay and I used to do everything together including smoking, making sausages, jerky, etc, etc, etc. For 47 1/2 years she was my wife, my lover and my best friend. We were married when she was 16 and I was 18. When we first started dating, she lacked a few months of being 15. We never had boys or girls nights out. We enjoyed each others company and almost always did our own thing together. Now, everytime I think about doing something, I think about us doing it together and then I start to cry. I watch tv and something always seems to set me off. I drive down the road and see something and think I should tell Mary Kay, then I remember she is gone and I can't tell her about what I saw. I was going to retire Feb 20th and we were looking forward to it so much. Then on Feb 10th, she left this world for I hope a better place. I just can't stand being alone so I did not retire. Life is just miserable now. I don't know how to cope. It is so lonely going home to just the cat. One thing though, after Mary Kay passed the cat would have nothing to do with me. Now he is starting to come around and realize that I am all he has and he better be nice to me. He just got where will get in my lap and let me pet him. Before he would not even let me pick him up. If I picked up, he seemed like he had 9 legs all trying to get away from me. Maybe, if he is coming around, maybe I will too. I have adult children but, they have their own families and problems to deal with. My son owns a 20 mil a year company and he is always thinking about production, labor, etc, etc. so I do not get much in the way of comfort from him him and my daughter is a single parent and is having problems with her kids. The oldest one has decided he is gay and the middle one is involved with drugs and has just entered detox. The youngest one is 16. What more can I say about her. so my daughter has problems of her own and she she don't need mine. I just thank God that Mary Kay is not having to deal with that.
Sorry about unloading on you all.
Unloading What? I haven't seen any trucks back into my driveway. Sounds like you need to talk and let some things off your chest. I think Mary Kay is right there with you, she is the one telling you to look at all those wonderful things and to think of her. If you need to talk let me know.
Chris
Sherlock, Reading this brought a tear to my eye.
I have found that talking about what hurts helps the healing.
I feel for you my friend. My mother-in-law lost her very long term husband a few years back. She kept herself busy by getting involved in her church. If you are not happy with continuing to work at your job, there are millions of organizations and good causes to get you involved in life. Volunteers are needed everywhere. Just something to think about.
Sherlock, from your discription of Mary Kay I think she was the type that would be feeling guilty right now for causing you all the grief you are going through just because God chose to take her to his side. For a woman who shared every thing with you, she would not want you to be in such sorrow alone. So unload away my friend and like OU812 said, talking about it would help the healing even if that was in a forum.
And remember, every thing starts small and gets bigger, except grief and sorrow; they start big and get smaller.
HR
Well said HR. I like that saying. And it is true. When I was 17 my girlfriend was in a horrible car accident and didn't make it. I was devastated. Infact that is why I went out on the fish boats, to get away from it all. It was very hard to cope with. As I love her with all my heart and we would have spent the rest of our lives together. I cried my self to sleep every night for 2 yrs. Infact the tears are welling up now. She was an angel and I still miss her, but not everyday like I used to. Time does heal wounds but the scars last along time. Having said that, if it hadn;t happened I would not have met my wife of 25 yrs and had my 2 beautiful girls. It all goes the way it does for a reason. A door closes to turn us into another room of our life. It hurts now and it will hurt later, but not as much. Stay strong and turn to those who are here for you now. Sometimes you need to lean on whoever is availible, and we are, even though we are not sitting next to you, we are availible. That is what can be called family too. Be strong and lean on us we can take it. "He ain't heavy,he's my brother". "Lean on me when your not strong and I will carry on".
Nathan,
What a heartfelt expression of love. I agree with the others here that you aren't unloading anything on us. You ARE unloading a great burden just by letting us into your life and discussing this with us. You should feel free and in fact encouraged to post here everyday if that's what it takes to you get through this period of grief and suffering. Everyone of us are here for you. Everyone of us will help you carry the load. Sounds like you badly need someone to talk to and don't want to burden your kids. Well then, talk to us. Anytime. Everyday.
We're here.
I bid you God's peace that only he can deliver.
Larry
Nathan,
Thanks for sharing. unload away.
Nathan, you've touched the heart of this big ole sometimes hard-hearted, stiffnecked construction veteran and others on this forum! I'm with 10.5 - ain't seen no truck unloading at my house. Used to do weight-lifting when younger - you won't believe how big the shoulders I have. God gave them to me for helping carry a load and then he gave me a heart that aches for people in need and then he gave me the willingness to help. If you'd like to call - PM me with your number. It's ok if you do not feel like talking right now. Just know that I am here to listen whenever you are ready. No need for anyone to try to go it alone. We've all had times in our lives that we have had to lean on others. Help us repay the kindness of others by being there for you the best we can. I can only imagine the emptiness your are experiencing. You'll never be able to replace that precious part of your heart that Mary Kay occupies. Nothing can make up for the absence of someone we love. And it would be wrong for us to try to find a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great comfort, for the hole -- as long as it remains unfilled -- preserves the bond between you and Mary Kay. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap: God does not fill it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty. He knows that this helps us to keep alive our intimacy with and the memory our loved one, even at the cost of pain. Tell me how I can help; I want to be here for you.