This morning we signed the papers to put Dad into Hospice. I'm not looking for sympathy, just want to let you know that I may not seem to be myself when posting for a while with a bunch of crap on my mind.
His liver is basically dead, and with the infections in the sores on his legs, it's taking it's toll on him.
At least now I won't have the stress of hauling him to the hospital when he don't seem right any more.
Yep that SUCKS!!!! TT
Hang in there TT, life brings hard decisions sometimes.....We're here for ya!
C
Tim, I haven't been on here long enough to know you very well, but that really doesn't matter, caring for our fellow human beings should be foremost in our life. As you and WTS have already said, that really does suck - big time. Listen to the Hospice people - most are really good people looking out for and caring for those that need palliative care. Don't let them talk you out of pain medication. Make your Dad is as comfortable as they can make him. But more importantly - know that you and your Dad, and your family are in my prayers and I'm sure in the prayers of lots of other on this forum and around the world. Peace be upon you and your Dad. Hang in there bud, and PM me if you need to talk.
Mike
Tim
The eminent loss of a loved one is very hard for us to accept. Life for me has been rather tough lately so I can really sympathize with the decision you have had to make. I can only hope you will be able to concentrate on the good times you had with him. I definitely know that this will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do and our prayers will be with you and your family.
Nathan
I'm very sorry to hear this Tim. I can't really add much more to what has been said but know that you and your Dad are in our thoughts and prayers.
Mike
I echo the sentiment of the others, and really can't add to it.
I know this is a tough time for you. I've been there.
We will keep you in our prayers.
Caneyscud and Sherlock said it all. We will continue to lift your father and you up.
KyNola
Nothing more to add, just to say you and your dad are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sorry to hear about your father's health. Hospice is a great organization, so your father will be treated with dignity.
Thank you, guys. I may need to lean on you more in the future, but we're good so far...just shedding a tear or two every now and again.
Sorry to hear about your dad T.T. Members have said it all and we will keep our prayers going for him. Take care friend and keep us in mind if there is anything we can do.
Tim,
There is nothing more to be said that has not already been said. You and your father will be in my prayers. Life is full of ups and downs and at times it gets very hard. Keep us posted . We are there for you.
Brad
Tim,
will send a word up for your father and family,
god bless.
Linda and I have the two of you in our prayers Tiny. Let me know if I can help in any other way.
Rick
Tim,
Hang in there, buddy! Times may seem rough right now but there is always a rainbow at the end of the clouds. Sometimes, it just seems the walk to get to the end of those clouds seems longer than usual. You and your Dad are in my thoughts and prayers.
Marc
Tiny, Scott and I are saying our prayers for you and your Dad.
June
Tiny,
Sorry to hear this. You & your dad are in our thoughts.
Deb
Hang in there Tim, we are all praying for your dads health.
nepas
Tiny, I'm really sorry to hear things have gotten so bad for you and your dad. I know it had to be a very tough decision but it was one that had to be made. I know you have thought it over long and hard and I'm sure it was the best choice possible. I will keep you and your dad in my prayers also.
pens
Tim, Sorry to hear about your Dad, I really hope I don't have to do that one day ( I'm an only child ) I can just imagine what you are going through. My prayers are with you and your family.
I'm new here, but I'm in the health field. Hospice is a place where your dad can expect compassion and comfort. Sometimes that's the best gift you can give. Not an easy one for sure.
All the best to you and your family.
tiny,
I am so sorry to hear about your dad as hard that is to do.. it is the right thing to do. You have a lot on your mind and a lot to take care of... go take care of your family and dad..
May your dad be as comfortable as he can be..
my prayers are with you and your family .. we are here for you and if you need a shoulder to lean on .. you can use mine...
Beef
Tiny...well...we're here for ya...gotta be hard..but you have a lot of friends here and I am proudly one of them. Keep your chin up kid...this is tough stuff...our prayers for you and Dad.
Tracy and Bob
Tiny, at this point all I can recommend is is savor the good times with your Dad and be thankful that there is care for him, as I have been through this. I lost my Dad in 95, and it was tough. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk to someone.
Quote from: Tiny Tim on March 20, 2009, 02:08:31 PM
Thank you, guys. I may need to lean on you more in the future, but we're good so far...just shedding a tear or two every now and again.
Lean away there Tiny.
Our shoulders are broad, our spirit is strong, our love is great for all those in need.
From all of your extended family.
Been there Tiny....and it sux. Almost two years ago and still miss him and mom....I still think of some gun question that I want to ask him or a recipe question that I want to ask her and then I remember that I can't ask them anymore. They both had a good life though and we all loved and laughed together for a season...I'll cherish those times as will you.
Echoing others on this thread, you'll find hospice to be a place of wonderfully caring folks, if your experience is the same as several of ours. I didn't hold much stock in those kind of things before we were exposed to them...I was wrong in my thinking and have met some true angels on earth through long term care and hospice care, as I'm sure will you. But above all things that gave/gives us comfort is our faith....mom had it, dad had it, and we have it and the hope that it gives us carries us high above the sorrow/loneliness that would otherwise prevail. Don't mean to preach, just to offer words of comfort and hope... and prayer for support...
So sorry Tim. Having recently helping my Wife thru that last year, I know its hard. But at the same time its comforting to know he will be cared for and reduce as much pain as possible. We are all here for you.
Once again, thank you, everybody for being there (here?) for me. Last night's visit had many a tear, but this time they were joyous in why they were being shed.
Here's the story. We've been struggling for quite a while to put some liquor back on the shelf, both due to slow sales and from having to "borrow" so much cash from the till while Dad's been in the hospital. Also, we had a huge bill come in for the annual liquor license. Every time I came up with a way to get the license paid for and a little bit of liquor in, something would dash the cause, be it an unexpected bill, Dad splurging on something that, while needed, we really could have done without for a while, or people simply not paying as much on their bill as I/we expected them to.
The latest involved a plan to liquidate an asset that we would not be needing any more...Dad's newest truck that hasn't been driven for a very long time. It's technically paid off, but the bank has the title to secure our business loan and a mortgage on the house (either building is worth enough to pay off the whole crap by itself), and when I approached the banker for the title, he said he couldn't release it without paying down the note(s) with the money from the sale.
As you may gather, I was not a very happy boy at that time. While sitting here stewing about it yesterday, I remembered an offer to buy our Hydraulic Hose crimping machine, so I looked into what I could possibly get for it. Numbers came out okay, wish they were higher, but they were okay, so I called the guy interested and he talked to his brothers. They came back with a lower offer, but I really couldn't refuse it. Done deal.
Now, are you still here or did I bore you to death already? I got down to the hospital to visit Dad around 5:45 last night, while he was having supper. We made small talk until he got done with that. I took a deep breath and told him that I was able to find a way to get the liquor license paid for and to get some liquor on the shelf. A smile instantly came to his face. I told him how and the smile got even bigger, so I thought I would try to calm him a bit with something that I had learned about the loans, that I didn't think was that great of news...the business loan is covered by "credit life" meaning that if/when he passes, the loan is paid off, but the house loan isn't. This made him so freakin' happy I thought he was going to have a heart attack. At that point I knew I wasn't supposed to due to bacteria and other crap, but I just had to give that man a big hug since we were both crying happy tears. When we let go, he said the only thing that could make me shed even more tears....he said he was proud of me. My Daddy said he was proud of me. Still getting choked up writing that here.
If I wasn't so blasted fat, I would have started dancing a jig, and I don't think I would have stopped yet.
Cool story. Sounds like a proud dad raised a great kid. My prayers to both of you.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. My thoughts are still with you and your family.
You're a good man Tiny...and I think your Dad is right...he is a proud father and you are a good son.
very touching tiny,
all i can do is echo LQ
Tim,
Thanks for sharing that. I got goose bumps when your father said he was proud of you. I think all of us at the forum are proud of you also.
Brad
A little good news and another great family moment to cherish. A great thing to share Tiny. ;)
TT
that has to be tough, taking care of the family business, let alone the family. I caan understand some of the frustration that you are going through but not all...you are doing a great job taking care of everything ... The business, the family which puts a huge burden onto your shoulders and you are feeling it... it will get better and all will work out and for the better ..
Tiny we are here for you and feel for you and your family.. my prayers are with you and family.
best wishes and prayers
Beef
TT
I've been following this post from the start. My thoughts are with you. I'm going through the same thing, sort of, with my moms. I feel for you.
Mike
Once again, thank you, everybody. And HCT...while I do not wish this on anybody, it is kinda comforting to know that somebody else, somewhere is going through a similar situation. I know that didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but I just can't put the correct words together, and I am hoping you understand what I am trying to say.
Yup, I do TT. All my best to you.
TT, missed your next to last post until today - danged man, you made another 52 yo man cry, and that's not too good in a Construction company office! Heart-felt thanks for the story. My heart and prayers continue to go out to you and yours!
Note to self - Don't wait too long to tell my daughter and my wife how proud I am of them! Maybe tonight!
Mike
TT,
No better feeling in the world than hearing your Dad say, "I'm proud of you." More of us should learn from your Dad's wisdom. I only wish that you could have heard those words when the times were better.
I can only echo the sentiment that everyone else here has already expressed. Hospice is a great organization. No one wants them around, but when they are necessary, they're Angels.
God Bless you and you Dad. Make sure to tell him how proud of him that you are.
Jeff
Well said Jeff. Just wish I could have told my mom that a few more times before it was to late.