Flogging a dead horse!

[manxman]

Someone sent me this today, I bet this applies the world over..... not just this side of the pond in Britain!!  ;)

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Tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians (so legend has it), passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."

However, in government, education and the corporate world, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

Buying a stronger whip.
Changing riders.
Giving horse and rider a good bollocking.
Re-structuring the dead horse's reward scale to contain a performance-related element.
Suspending the horse's access to the executive grassy meadow until performance targets are met.
Making the horse work late shifts and weekends.
Scrutinising and clawing back a percentage of the horse's past 12 months expenses payments.
Appointing a committee to study the horse.
Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride horses.
Convening a dead horse productivity improvement workshop.
Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
Outsourcing the management of the dead horse.
Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
Providing additional funding and/or training to increase dead horse's performance.
Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. And the highly effective...
Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.



I bet most of us have come across examples of this? Quite a lot of "dead horses" seem to end up in senior management positions in my experience!!

[ChefBill]

manx,
HELL, That applies to everything the US Govt. does. AND as a last resort 20 years later they get another horse with only 3 legs and is blind..... ;D    Need I say More.

[Habanero Smoker]

How true; but you forgot at least one.

Hire the dead horse as a consultant to train others in how to manage a dead horse.

[manxman]

How true; but you forgot at least one.

Haha, perhaps forum members can come up with a few more!? ;D I am sure Olds would have a few thoughts on this!!

[whitetailfan]

Once you have discovered the horse you are riding is indeed dead, but before the rest of the world knows it, spin off ownership through an IPO of the dead horse.  You can parachute out with millions and it will take at least two years of internal audits and accounting scandals before anyone catches on.

Also be sure to issue yourself share options as the current rider.  You can cash in on the increase to your share prices, plus if someone comes up with a cure for "dead horse" you can exercise the options to regain ownership of the horse.

[ChefBill]

Or you could put it to good use and smoke it, Then sell it to some alien for brisket       ;D

[manxman]

Oh what a cynical lot we are all becoming!!!  ;)

[iceman]

Don't forget to call the Elmers Glue factory. They use all the parts. You guys have a vivid imagination. ::) This forum makes me laugh a lot. Keep it up. :D ;D