Free at last! Free at last! Free at last!

[Caneyscud]

Free at last!  Free at last!  Free at last!

After 4 weeks of suffering with the affliction of fricasseed neurons adumbrating my normal sunny disposition and overall good looks, I'm back to being able to waste spend time on the keyboard.  In other words, I was busy at work!
 
Overwhelmed with the dawning of a new year and a new decade, in my recovery mode (sitting and napping in my recliner), I pondered why there was such a thing as toe jam and why is it necessary for the perpetuation and success of the human race.  Couple that with conjugating on the distinct diversity of navel lint, my mind was awash in deep philosophy.  So deep in fact, I did not monitor what I was consuming that day.  Deep in thought, I polished off the following:  for breakfast – chorizo and egg breakfast burritos; for lunch – leftover chalupas; and for supper – chili.  

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – waka waka waka
le Petomane  (if you don't know, it's worth a google)

Did my best impression of a washback replete with a visceral amalgamation of oligosaccharides of Phaseolus vulgaris L. that stultifies and bypasses conventional enzymatic processes for the zymologic transmogrification of the leguminous wort that enables the sulphorous colonic calliope - à toute force!   My mind raced, ruminating on the fact that while humankind has learned how to split the atom, manipulate genes and travel to the moon, it doesn't know all that much about how to reduce the production of colonic explosions.   After the initial melodramatic, irrepressible philosophic travail, my cerebral reflections sailed away on the back of inspired enlightenment and penned this little cacophony of heroic quatrains.


Jalapeno Morning
         By Caneyscud the Malodorous Malcontent

I have a ladylove, her name is unimportant
For her, my fiery passions are always abundant
A spicy hot senorita, forever unforgettable
Oh such sweet joy, never regrettable.

Nightly in my dreams, I have seen her shine bright,
A gift from God's hands, from the dark shines her light
Long sleek and sinewy, smooth graceful curves
Asit at the dining table, my craving she fully deserves.

She likes it warm, heats up like a hot Texas twister
What joy from a touch, unnoticed, my lips blister
Time standing still, entices just to please  
Oh how she tempts me – she is such a tease!

The mundaneness of my life, head on she has met,
A dragon breathing fire, has caught me in her net
With such fiery bliss, how can I contend?
I try to deny knowledge of her, alas I can't pretend.

A sea of passion ignites the unmistakable spark,
Of a heart and soul unbounded, a sign of her trademark
To be known as 'female', unmistakable
Spicy, hot, smoldering, piquant yet comfortable.

Spicy is a taste that some never acquire
Biggest complaint - their stomach is on fire.
It burns their tongue, they roll their eyes
Heat or taste a question does arise

Jalapenos are my ladylove of choice
But I am but one wee small voice
I stuff them sometimes with cheese
Cream or cheddar, the flavor is a taste to please

Like all good Texans, we should all like hot peppers
The fearful end results, nothing for a high-stepper!
Red or Green, long or short, mild or hot
Little difference when you go to use the pot

We all enjoy the spice and the heat
Add in the flavor, a combination that cannot be beat
The wonders of capsaicin, feelings unsung
Erupt copiously, as the jalapeno touches your tongue

Cognizant of something amiss, what did I eat last?
I recall burrito, jalapeno stacked, for breakfast repast
At noon, leftover chalupas (w/japs), certainly quite yummy
And near dark, foreboding, Chili was used to fill the ole tummy

Past the mouth, those peppers laid in my belly
For just a moment there, my legs felt like jelly
Expectant and volcanic, laying there in a fiery clump.
Fearful of what might happen when it was time for a dump.

Going to bed, laying there, I felt my tummy rumble
Knowing and fearful, all I could do was mumble
The wife wondered, what was the cause of my start
What could I say?  Afraid I'd blow my pants apart?

Asleep, restful, of milk and cheese I did dream.
Worry free, peaceful, and unconscious of the future I seem
Until, that point of life we most want to block
Obnoxious, the beeping of that hated clock.

Up from restful slumber I did jump
Feeling the pressure, through the house I did bump
Thru the hall, the kitchen, the den I did clamor
Til at the THRONE I did arrive – a place not known for its glamour

White, cold, and hard, sense of comfort it does not impart
Cold dark morning, plopping down does give such a chilly start
A few moments of peace, numbed and relaxed, Sudoku in hand
Prime time, so ancient and primordial, the eons are spanned.

Most lucky for all I was the only one stirring, no pun intended!
No guilt, no thinking of others, no action to be defended.
Ensconced in exquisite relief, without warning, such a cloud did arise
Green fog enshrouding, I decide right there, no further details is wise.

Except for two thoughts that from my predicament did originate
Bass notes played, so rich, vitreous china amplification they did ruminate
Uncle's trick remembered, like matches, jalapenos can burn twice
Jalapeno mornings, courageous, undaunted, someone has to pay the price

Often I have reminisced the pungency of my lovelady's warm sultriness,
An unspeakable yearning, a burning desire, demanding my alertness
Pondering the last remaining traces of my gender's youthful features
Now wrinkled and gray, I wonder, how much longer for pepper adventures

Me with a lovelady so fair, so slender and beautiful,
Undoubtedly my needs and yearnings would be plentiful
Fulfilled, day after blessed day, this is my calling,
Never would from her spicy hot grasp would I find myself falling.

Eternally to the splendor of her fiery spirit,
There is no devotion that is beyond my limit.
And so I hold and stare at the greenness of her being,
Voluptuous and seductive, the fieriness hidden from our seeing.

What verve, what vim, what vivacity, I delight and extol,
She buttresses my weakness and melts my soul,
The union of two life callings, melded into fiercely fiery feelings,
With fanfare and fireworks we celebrate Jalapeno Mornings

Beautiful lovelady, to you, I am but a Texas toad
And this is to you but a wistful ode,
Come soon will my deeds, and then you'll know
Everybody knows - Jalapeno Mornings are good MoJo!

[Tenpoint5]

Well Done Caney!! and So full of truths.

[Pachanga]

Caneyscud,

Shakespere, the Bard of Avon, has nothing on Caneyscud, Bard of Jalapeno Nation.



Good luck and it sounds like everything came out alright,

Pachanga

[lumpy]

Glad to hear that things are flowing smoothly ;)

Lumpy

[Oldman]

This reminds me that I have to still wait for green tomatoes so we can make Jelona. The recipe came with my Grandparents from Poland.  Some good stuff.

[Pachanga]

Olds,

I'd be interested in that recipe if it is convenient.  Sounds like a real treat.  I always enjoy regional foods, flavors and techniques.

Good luck and great gardening,

Pachanga

[classicrockgriller]

Caney, welcome back! ;D

(I just spit coffee all over my keyboard reading your words of knowledge.)