Never bring plants into the house!!!

[Sacrifice]

Garden Grass Snakes (also known as Garter Snakes) can be
dangerous...Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why...

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that
a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants
and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go
under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who
was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what
the problem was.

She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down
on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that
time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
thought the snake had bitten him so he screamed and fell over on
the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him
up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants
rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the
stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and
the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still
in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so
she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake.
He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried
to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just
returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's
mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back
of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw
her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so
she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the
kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it
down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious
man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had
occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and
his sobbing wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One
of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake
and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp
on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the
drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who,
startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming
car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by the neighbors
who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising
the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The
rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city
block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital,
the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a
new car, and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife
if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

That's when she shot him.



<i>Nun sacciu, nun vidi, nun ceru e si ceru durmiv. </i>

I know nothing, I see nothing, I wasn't there, and if I was there, I as asleep.

[BigSmoker]

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

Jeff



Some say BBQ is in your blood, if thats true my blood must be BBQ sauce.

[Phone Guy]

I like that, very funny.[:D][:D]

[Oldman]

Good story....[:D]

Olds