I'm a little bumbed today guys...

MallardWacker · March 08, 2007, 05:34:26 PM

Some of you know I work in the field of accident reconstruction, I laughingly call it "gene pool cleansing issues", maybe it's a way to get around the tragedy that I incur. We manly do defense work for insurance, trucking and construction companies. They don't call us unless there is a death or massive life changing injuries. Typically I can separate things, and at times I can feel bad...even with kids involved but by the end of the day or in a few hours all is back into the file. But today it was different, we had to investigate a fatality of a four year old that happen yesterday. It was way in the southern part of the state and like always I didn't think much of it. As I looked at the preliminary report I checked out the location of where they were from...it was from a bedroom community that my family attends church and where I am an elder. Typically if I see something like this I give a call to a fellow pastor and make sure all is well...this time it wasn't. At the time I called at first I left a message, on the way home I got the returned call...A very active family was now morning the death of their daughter. As I sat down at home and saw the emails coming of the funeral and the hospital information of the surviving mother...this here has me in a place that I have not been in a while. I can't answer the questions why...I feel bad for thinking that I was glad that it wasn't my kid...I don't even think I can visit them...gosh folks I had a crappy day...Guess what, I am off to another one that happen yesterday...at least there was no kids in this one.

Life is precious folks...hug everyone you love today.

Thanks for the ear...not looking for any response, just a place to talk...thanks friends.

iceman · March 08, 2007, 06:43:41 PM

Very sad indeed MW. Your right, life is short so always let the ones close to you know you love them often.
Keep strong my friend and keep that extra angle in your back pocket always. Pat and Ann

coyote · March 08, 2007, 07:21:50 PM

Some folks have very hard and life wrenching jobs. It's a bessing that there are folks to do them , for
most of us can not. Thanks for being one who will , for us...The more we know from the past ,
the more we can prevent in the future...Life is precious. Doug and Sherie

Gizmo · March 08, 2007, 08:49:04 PM

MW, anytime you need to an ear or a shoulder, you will find many here for you to bend or lean on. I think we can all be there for you if not in spirit.

As Charlotte would say to Wilbur "Chin Up".

Here's a prayer for you and those of the lost one.

West Coast Kansan · March 08, 2007, 09:03:51 PM

Well understood MW. Good advice and learning for us all.
Take Care,

LilSmoker · March 09, 2007, 12:22:09 AM

Hi MW, it must take a gutsy and level headed person to do the kind of work you're in, so i take my hat off to you, and hope you don't have too many days like that.

All the best............LilSmoker

Oldman · March 09, 2007, 12:54:37 AM

My thoughts are with you and your friends...

Habanero Smoker · March 09, 2007, 02:22:21 AM

You have an extremely emotional draining job. My thoughts are with you and your friends also.

You have said often that life is too short. I try to remember your words, and act accordingly when faced with a lot of situations.

Wildcat · March 09, 2007, 04:20:38 AM

Hang tough MW. My thoughts are with you.

Chez Bubba · March 09, 2007, 05:43:24 PM

Mallard,

I don't know how some people work in the professions they do. I'd like to think if I had to, I would, but I certainly wouldn't make the choice. I'll admit they're better persons than I. Thankfully there are people out there like you who can see the value in their deeds and justify the emotional angst.

Hospice nurses, firemen, cops, soldiers, special ed teachers.....the list could go on a while.

Take care & remember, you accomplish more good most days than can be overcome by a crappy one.

Kirk & Anne

manxman · March 10, 2007, 01:31:30 AM

QuoteI laughingly call it "gene pool cleansing issues", maybe it's a way to get around the tragedy that I incur.

It's very easy to become hard nosed and lack compassion in such jobs MW, "gallows" humour in such situations is one thing and many people show that in adversity but losing compassion and caring is another.

IMHO you have lost neither, you are a good man. Take care.

PigOut · March 10, 2007, 04:37:29 AM

All are in my prayers !

Kummok · March 10, 2007, 04:21:23 PM

Been there MW.....and you're right that you can't answer the "why". There's no good "because" answer, especially when kids are the victims. It hits hardest when it hits close to home. Doing what you're doing, reaching out and sharing the hurt/frustration with friends/family, seemed to work best for most and certainly better than storing it inside. Personally, I think it's normal and well adjusted to be glad that your own kids weren't hurt....I wouldn't feel guilty about that myself. One of the "internalizings" that worked for me was to ask myself "Who would be doing this if I wasn't here?" Can't say that it will work for you but that and a strong faith always got me right back into the thick of things. I also can't say why some events will etch themselves into memory and others don't. I have forever etched into my mind, the outline of the body of a 12 year old female, left behind when we lifted her from the smoked carpet. (didn't think I'd ever forget her name, but time IS an eraser and although the mind picture is still clear, the name has now vanished). Why THAT one and not the countless other victims??? I don't have a clue, but I DO know that this is the stuff that gives you the necessary passion to grease the wheels of the "catastrophic theory of reform" machine when trying to effect change. Sounds to me like you're where you need to be, doing what needs to be done....keep the faith!

Wildcat · March 11, 2007, 07:23:23 PM

Very well put Kummok.

MallardWacker · March 12, 2007, 06:37:20 AM

It is very strange to me how a bunch of people that basically have never seen each other and some how come together like we do here. I do belong to a few boards and I can unequivically say that this one here is in a league unto itself. Thanks everyone for the great words...you guys are the best. I would hate to think what type of block parties we would have if we all lived near each other. I am sure they would be epic.

There is one neat thing that God has given us and that is...a new day, a new week and even a new year. It may not take away everything but it is a chance to get on with things. Your are right Kummok, time does help.

Again nice folks....thanks for the ear, the time and the kind responses. And what ever you do...be safe.