How Government works... anyone relate to this?

[manxman]

OK, swap £ signs for $ signs but I bet many people can relate to this:



Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard miles from anywhere.

The government said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So
they created a night watchman position and hired a person at £18,000
a year for the job.

Then the government said, "How does the watchman do his job
without instruction?" So they created a planning department and
hired two people, one person to write the instructions for £22,000,
and one person to do time studies for an additional £22,000 per
year.

Then the government said, "How will we know the night
watchman is doing the tasks correctly? So they created a Quality
Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies for
£31,000 and one to write the reports for an additional £31,000 per
year.

Then the government said, "How are these people going to get
paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper for
£35,000 annual salary, and a payroll officer for an additional
£35,000, then hired two people.

Then the government said, "Who will be accountable for all of
these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired
three people, an Administrative Officer at £155,000 per year,
Assistant Administrative Officer £125,000, and a Legal Secretary for
an additional £100,000 per year.

Then the government said, "We have had this operating for one
year with a budget cost of £574,000.00 and we are £18,000 over
budget. We must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman....

[Malc]

Yep. 

Malc

[LilSmoker]

Yeah Manx, i'd say that's bang on the money, government eh? what a joke  ;)

[acords]

That would be funny if it wasn't so close to the truth.  I'm off to look for a 700.00 hammer.

[iceman]

Manx, are you sure your not talking about my company? :D ;D Oh soooooo.... true!!!

[PetersCreek]

...Assistant Administrative Officer £125,000,

I bloody WISH!  This government employee (Management Assistant) doesn't get nearly so much.  Hell, I don't think our field office manager gets that much.

But let's look at the alternative...

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard miles from anywhere.

The government said, "Since this government property is only scrap and the facility is so remote, on-site security and administration is an unnecessary expense the taxpayers should not be asked to bear."

But...as they are wont to do...thieves decided the pickings were so easy, they couldn't resist even though it was so far away.  For weeks, they were quite happy to haul off tons and tons of quality materials...including steel, aluminum, and copper...to sell at a profit even more handsome than they'd anticipated. 

Of course, the theft was eventually noticed and the word got out.  The media had a field day with it.  The pundits tutted and wagged their fingers.  Such carelessness!  Such incompetence!  Surely if it happened in this one place, it must be happening everywhere.  60 Minutes even dedicated 24 minutes to it, exclusive of commericials, and public outrage ensued. 

Congressmen were deluged with calls and letters demaning action...and a scapegoat...from concerned citizens anxious that government assets for which they paid good tax money be better protected...even if it was scrap, damn it.  Committees were formed.  Hearings were held.  Dozens of congressional staffers dedicated thousands of hours to background and legal research on the problem.  Studies were commissioned from expensive private sector consulting firms.  Hollywood celebrities chimed in with advice made sage because, well, they're famous after all.  Someone even telephoned Oprah.  All this, at taxpayers' expense, of course.

Finally legislation was passed and a decision was reached.  For blame, the fellow who originally decided to save the taxpayers some money was sacked.  Hired in his place were:

Not just a nightwatchman but a full security detail, plus a planning department, a quality control department, a budget and payroll department, an administrative department, a human resources and labor relations department, an executive management team...and...a congressional liaison office to comply with oversight requirements mandated by the new federal law.

And the guy that got sacked?  Three months later, 60 Minutes aired a story on him and how unfairly he was treated by the big bad government.  I hear he'll be on Oprah next Tuesday.

[Wildcat]

I retired after 35 years and 9 months of federal government service (8 years of that in the U.S. Army).  I can attest to the truth of the above posts and retired as soon as I became eligible.

[Oldman]

On a side  note I just love how the powers to be will play head games....  A teacher here can retire at 30 years of experience. Which really is 31 years as the first year the teacher is not "experienced" so that year does not count~~!

[icerat4]

Wow olds it took ya long enough to reply.LOL ;D.Why did i know you would be chiming in on this one  ;D ;D ;D.See this rat really does know ya. ;).

[West Coast Kansan]

The government laid someone off?  ???The solution I would expect is a tax increase disguised as a new benefit somehow. Must have been a local government :D

[Cajun]

   That has got to be Louisiana!!!!!    Cajun

[NePaSmoKer]

I was one of the lucky ones. Worked for the DOD for 24 years and never seen a layoff in the area i worked in.

nepas

[Consiglieri]

I forget who said it, but it's true: "It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for."

[West Coast Kansan]

That rings true.  :o