Funny story of the day

[NePaSmoKer]

  :D  :D  :D  :D

I was aked in an interview one time this.

You have a huge tree on your property and the shade even covers your neighbors deck, You want to trim it or cut it down, what do you do?

I said trim it.

The interviewer guy told me that was not the answer he was looking for and I will get a letter in the mail telling me my interview results.

This was a few years ago when i was applying for a truck driving job with Schneider. I got the reply saying i was not hired because the position was filled  :D  :D


nepas

[headgames]

A Green Bay Packers Fan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on
> his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of
> drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has produced a
> typical Green Bay baby boy weighing 25 pounds.

Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Packer Fan just shrugs,
"That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical
> Green Bay baby boy.
>
> Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of
> "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
>
> Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the
> father of that typical Green Bay baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth.

> Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.
So how much does he weigh now?"
>
> The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
>
> The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What
> happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
>
> The Green Bay father takes a slow swig from his Leinenkugel's beer,wipes
> his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
>
>
> "...Had him circumcised!"  ;D

[oguard]

Being a Cheese head I am LMAO ;D ;D ;D

Good one Headgames

Mike

[LilSmoker]

[Wildcat]

Wal-Mart announced that, sometime in 2007, it will begin offering customers a new discount item... Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.  The world's largest retail chain is rumored to be teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the spirits at an affordable price - in the $2 to $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for inexpensive wine," said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville.  "However, branding will be very important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart wine brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:


10. Chateau Traileur Parc



9. White Trashfindel



8. Big Red Gulp



7. World Championship Riesling



6. NASCARbernet



5. Chef Boyardeaux



4. Peanut Noir



3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar



2. Grape Expectations



  1. Nasti Spumante



The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).



P.S. Don't bother writing back that this is a hoax. I know possum is not a white meat.

[manxman]

A bakery owner hires a young female salesgirl who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the salesgirl and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please" the man says politely.

The female nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would. Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner.

As she retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view.

With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see the girl climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself.

Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you, too?"

"No," stammers the old man, "but it's a-quiverin.'"

[HCT]

Cute  :D

[Tiny Tim]

Wish I could find a place like that with Rye in the Raisin spot. :D

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D

[icerat4]

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, "If I could only see the world, I would marry you."

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her, 'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight
of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The
thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left very sad and heart broken. And days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were
yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human! brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was
always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift !!

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and! compla in about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a Smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around

[Tiny Tim]

Hey Rat, while that one wasn't funny, it was a nice message that we all need to hear once in a while.  Thank you very much for posting it.

[Wildcat]

Hey Rat, while that one wasn't funny, it was a nice message that we all need to hear once in a while.  Thank you very much for posting it.

I second that.

[HCT]

Great post  Rat. Things I know that I forget at times. ;)

[Consiglieri]

You know, Rat, there I go reading that sympathetic story, imagining that Mr. Icerat really has an appreciation for the important things...

Then I see a penguin getting smacked in the back of the head into an ice pool.

I like irony.   ;D  Cheers.

[iceman]

Thanks for the post rat. The rest of the week will be enjoyed for sure, whether that #!!xx?!### boss of mine likes it or not. ;D ;)
A person needs to think like that more often. :)