Funny story of the day

[TedEbear]

Uncle Drew Plays Basketball

[ghost9mm]

That's good...

[Wildcat]

THE "OCCUPY GOLF" MOVEMENT - WE NEED TO BE HEARD!!!

I am a member of golf's lower 99%.

I am an indifferent golfer, there is no way I could ever make it to the professional level. I will never put in the practice Time to be the best. I will never have the shots, skills, or mental toughness to make it in the sport. I just never felt like working all that hard at it. However, I am a part of the golfing community, as such, feel I should be paid by the top 1% of golfers for what I do. It isn't fair that those players who have worked harder, have studied the game more carefully, have better equipment, are more skilled and dedicated should make all that BIG money.

Where's my share? I am a Victim!

The top 1% should pay for my club memberships and green fees and lessons, buy me new clubs, balls,clothes and shoes, and pay me some of their winnings. They can afford it. They are "The Rich".

The whole system should be changed to accommodate people like me. I think we should get together and "occupy" a golf course; demand that those who are better at what they do, pay for us who generally suck. Whining should get us something - maybe we'll make the cover of Time Magazine and garnish some public sympathy. Hell, during this election year, we may even get a law or two passed by legislators who want our votes.

The "Occupy Golf " Movement

P.S. - Don't mention this to tennis players! We thought of it first!!! 

[GusRobin]

Occupy BBQ

I am one of the 99% that doesn't have a high end pellet cooker. I think I should be given one because I spent my money on other things and made choices that left me without one. So I will be sitting on my front porch (since we no longer have to work 'cause the "rich" folk will provide) waiting for delivery.
As soon as I get my free cell phone you can call me and let me know when it will arrive.  Gee - ain't Obama great. I will vote twice for him this year since the polling places aren't allowed to ask for picture ID 'cause it may hurt someone's feelings (you can get carded to buy beer and cigarettes but how dare they ask for voter ID).
I better quit before I get started. Sorry- I needed to vent

[SiFumar]

I agree!

[Smokin Sparky]

  An old guy was shopping the other day, pushing his cart around, when he collided with a young guy also pushing his cart.  He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that.  I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

  The younger man says, "That's OK.  What a coincidence.  I'm looking for my wife too.  I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate.

  The old man adds, "Well maybe we can help each other.  What does your wife look like?"

  The young guy says, "Well she's 24 years old, tall, with blonde hair, green eyes, long legs, buxom figure, and she's wearing tight white shorts and a halter top.  What does your wife look like?"

  The old guy replies, "Doesn't matter.  Let's look for yours."

[3rensho]

OMG Me too  ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

X3

[GusRobin]

Here are some more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ew0-oa7DEhc&feature=endscreen&NR=1

[TedEbear]

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.



The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'




While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.



They continued to watch until it reached the last number... and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.




The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'

[Salmonsmoker]

A redhead in pain goes to the doctor. Once in the examination room, she tells the doc that everywhere she touches herself it hurts, and demonstrates. She touches her knee....ouch! Touches her shoulder...ouch! Everywhere she touches herself....ouch! Doc says, "mind if I ask you a question?" She says "no."  Doc asks, are you a natural redhead? She replies, no I'm a natural blonde. Doc says "I thought so...your finger is broken.

[SouthernSmoked]

Occupy BBQ

I am one of the 99% that doesn't have a high end pellet cooker. I think I should be given one because I spent my money on other things and made choices that left me without one. So I will be sitting on my front porch (since we no longer have to work 'cause the "rich" folk will provide) waiting for delivery.
As soon as I get my free cell phone you can call me and let me know when it will arrive.  Gee - ain't Obama great. I will vote twice for him this year since the polling places aren't allowed to ask for picture ID 'cause it may hurt someone's feelings (you can get carded to buy beer and cigarettes but how dare they ask for voter ID).
I better quit before I get started. Sorry- I needed to vent

Love this one.....It's so true!

[Shasta bob]

Occupy BBQ

I am one of the 99% that doesn't have a high end pellet cooker. I think I should be given one because I spent my money on other things and made choices that left me without one. So I will be sitting on my front porch (since we no longer have to work 'cause the "rich" folk will provide) waiting for delivery.
As soon as I get my free cell phone you can call me and let me know when it will arrive.  Gee - ain't Obama great. I will vote twice for him this year since the polling places aren't allowed to ask for picture ID 'cause it may hurt someone's feelings (you can get carded to buy beer and cigarettes but how dare they ask for voter ID).
I better quit before I get started. Sorry- I needed to vent

I am in with Gus group

[viper125]

Or if your a citizen or not. Alright to check if you buy his insurance or not. LOL

Im with you too! but keep it down. He gets word of smoking and it will either be illegal or taxed.

[3rensho]

The History of the Middle Finger

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and they began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.