Gun Owner's Humor

Started by Roadking, June 08, 2009, 06:12:14 PM

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Roadking


The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense, i.e., waiting to be attacked.

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either.

The ultimate weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1.  Don't pick a fight with an old man.  If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2.   If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3.   I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.

4.   When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5.  A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers.  The  reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' 
The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

6.  The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 
'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am..  If I were expecting trouble,
I would have brought my shotgun.'   
 
7.   Beware of the citizen who only has one gun.  THEY PROBABLY KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!

But wait, there's more!

I  was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house.  I said I did.  She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!'
To which I replied, 'Of course it's loaded - it doesn't work without bullets!' She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?'
My reply was, 'No, not at all.  I'm not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they're all loaded, too.' 

To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.

Oldman

#1
QuoteDon't pick a fight with an old man.  If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
Years back I read that we should send Old Men to war as they get up in the morning with much to do pain.  As such they would be P!ssed off and kill everyone who was a bad guy.

As I'm soon to be 60 I have to agree. Don't wake me before noon before I have my first pill or die sucker die!

EDIT You have a great web site... very nice family and I loved the earlier to older pictures of your children... very nice touch.

Click On The Portal To Be Transported To Our Time Tested And Proven Recipes~~!!! 

NePaSmoKer


Up In Smoke

Quote from: Oldman on June 08, 2009, 06:40:09 PM
QuoteDon't pick a fight with an old man.  If he's too old to fight, he'll just kill you.
Years back I read that we should send Old Men to war as they get up in the morning with much to do pain.  As such they would be P!ssed off and kill everyone who was a bad guy.

As I'm soon to be 60 I have to agree. Don't wake me before noon before I have my first pill or die sucker die!

EDIT You have a great web site... very nice family and I loved the earlier to older pictures of your children... very nice touch.
I am only 46 but i have come to the realization that if i wake up and i feel good there is something wrong! :)
2 Bradley OBS
Some people are like Slinkies... They're really good for nothing.
...But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Roadking

Quote from: Up In Smoke on June 09, 2009, 03:35:44 AM
I am only 46 but i have come to the realization that if i wake up and i feel good there is something wrong! :)
Wish I could wake up with no aches and pains. Just don't move as fast as I used to.
Was turkey hunting with my wife a few years ago and there were alot of bears with cubs around us. I stopped to take my hunting boots off and put a pair of sneakers on. My wife asked why and explained to her about the bears, she said that I'll never be able to out run a bear. I responded by telling her I know and that all I have to do was out run her.

3rensho

QuoteI responded by telling her I know and that all I have to do was out run her

A very oldie but still very funny.
Somedays you're the pigeon, Somedays you're the statue.

HCT

"The universe is a big place
probably the biggest"

seemore

hct how is ben
rk good job

HCT

seemore, Ben is doing well. The stitches came out 2 fridays back. E-collar was a waste as usual, Ben was still able to lick his wound. He still favors the leg but is getting better everyday.
Thanks for asking. :)   
"The universe is a big place
probably the biggest"

seemore