help me......someone.....please!!!!!

[tailfeathers]

I seem to have developed a serious problem. Went to Costco earlier this evening and despite my best intentions not to I ended up buying ANOTHER whole packer cut brisket. I already have two in the deep freeze, and I needed a third one like I needed a hole in the head, as my dad would say. But at 2.59/lb for a prime grade brisket I just couldn't bear to leave it behind! If anyone out there has a cure for this malady I need your help, 'cuz I'm afraid I'm a goner! ;)

[Pic-N-Stick]

Smok'em if you gott'em! 8)

[Smokin Sparky]

I see ...................... Lots of Pastrami and Brisket in the Future!!!!!!!!!!   ;D  ;D  ;D

Blake

[Northern_Hunting_Mom]

A sale and a working freezer...... I don't see the problem. ;D

[TNRockyraccoon]

Post up some awesome pictures and tips. Briskets have still been a tough one for me to get right.

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[GusRobin]

The only cure is to quit straight up. I will volunteer to take them off your hands and remove the temptation. PM me and I will send you my address. Thanks for paying for refrigerated shipping.

[Wildcat]

Got the perfect cure! Make it SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) that in the event you have in your possession any more than 2 briskets, then you must send any briskets over the 2 to me.

[Saber 4]

There is no cure, only good eats in your future!

[tailfeathers]

A sale and a working freezer...... I don't see the problem. ;D

heaven help me if that freezer goes south! I'd be in scramble mode big time!


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[Ka Honu]

Smoke 'em, eat 'em, and quit whining!

[Tenpoint5]

A sale and a working freezer...... I don't see the problem. ;D

heaven help me if that freezer goes south! I'd be in scramble mode big time!


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Sorry there Sunshine. There's 6 Choice Briskets in my freezer. If I came across a Prime for that price there would be 8 or 10 briskets in my freezer. YOU CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY BRISKETS IN YOUR FREEZER! Boston Butts either!

[pensrock]

There is plenty of room in my freezer for a brisket.  ;D
All though there is no guarantee it will even make it into the freezer.  ::)

[Caneyscud]

There is no cure

Recovering (LOL) Bradley Smoker

My name is Scud  --  CaneyScud!  I am an addict to low and slow and here is my story!  First brisket, then ribs, then lox and then sausage – where does it end?  Moinkballs?  Nope, there is always FATTIES!!  At the time no cure was wanted, unless it was No. 1 or No 2, just more toys and more meat.  Even a family sized tea-bag would not work here!

It started out innocently enough. I began to smoke now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one polite smoke led to another, and soon I was more than just a social smoker.

I began to smoke alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Smoking became more and more important to me, and finally I was smoking all the time.

The first smoke led to another, then another, then another, until ---well it was too many, under threat one had to go to the office.  That was a mistake of titanic proportions – more people to feed more smoked goodies to.  The ole thin blue pull had me wrapped around it!

I began to smoke at the office.  I knew that smoking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself. I began to invite friends at lunchtime so I could force ribs, butt, brisket, even moinkballs on them.  I would return to my desk dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of BARBECUE!  She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy smoker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Caney, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your smoking has become a real problem. If you don't stop smoking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey, " I confessed, "I've been smoking..." "I know you've been smoking," she said, "and I want a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You smoke as much as any BBQ redneck, and BBQ rednecks don't make any money, so if you keep on smoking we won't have any money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the Meat Market," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the Meat Market, in the mood for a pulled clod sandwich. Listening to a Country station on the radio, I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The Meat Market was closed. Later, I realized that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for the comfort of mesquite, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy smoking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Smoker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a full-fledged, armpit to armpit, sauce stained Bradley Smoker. I have never been to a SA meeting. The poster said that at each meeting they are supposed to watch a non-smoking video; this week it was supposed to be "Jerry Springer" talking about the song "I'm bad" by Michael Jackson. Then they share experiences about how they avoided smoking since the last meeting. I whipped out my Blackberry, wiped off the bit of mop sauce of the keyboard and called the number at the bottom of the poster.  A voice answered – not a warm live voice but one of those cold computer voices that said the SA meetings had been canceled due to lack of interest.  Seemed no one wanted to be cured. 

Undaunted, I tried to stop cold turkey, but I kept on looking on forums to find a brine recipe and a finishing IT to use on that old turkey.  Life just seemed .. more bland .. without purpose or meaning, somehow, as soon as I stopped smoking, and trying to avoid thoughts about the meaning of barbecue sauce and rubs. I was going crazy I had to do something!   If this kept up, they would put me in the crazy people's hospital.  So I said enough is enough, H E double hockey sticks, why stop smoking – I wasn't hurting anybody.  FREEDOM!!!!! 

Finally now with direction, I could go on with my life.  I learned to control my mesquite smoked, bacon wrapped yearnings (well just a little – but enough).   I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home and the office. Now I stare for hours at the Computer Screen. and receive my daily dose of brainwashing instead of contemplating the mysteries of "The Change" (actually, yes both definitions would apply – the new regime and worse yet, the wife's).   Just me and my BTDS76P (more lovingly named – DBS4)  well not just that smoker but a few others also – one even my wife doesn't know about.  Yes, she does wonder what that wry little smile means that is on my lips just before falling asleep – I'll never tell!


Ye Ode to the Brisket

How oft does want of Brisket doth torture my spirit
Slave of its delicious embrace nothing to do but tend
Like a melancholy malcontent, glistening eyes focused
Hours and times of my desire the plateau doth pass
Nothing but time and precious mesquite can I but offer
Low and slow doth my sweet love's beauty revealed
Sublime, rouse myself; and the weak wanton hunger
Shall from my bowels unloose its masculine restraint
Not at war, stomach at peace, content in fullness.
Oh mighty Brisket, penchant of memory, smoky perfection.

Have you joined Smoker's Anonymous yet?

[Caneyscud]

Saber 4 - saw nicely colored cap in one of your posts - put that together with the moniker and deduced you probably wore boots in your senior year.  Class of '78 myself.  Redneck non-reg though - lived in Law.  Born on the riverwalk.  Haven't been on the forum for awhile - other interests have grabbed my free time. 

[tailfeathers]

Scud-
Thanks for the chuckle. Closer to home than you could possibly know!! ::)