The ol'e talking dog trick. It's a safe joke guys.

[iceman]

A guy is driving around Tennessee, and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale."  He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog
is in the backyard.  The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador
Retriever sitting there.
 
"You talk?" he asks.
 
"Yep," the Lab replies.
 
"So, what's your story?"
 
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young.  I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my
gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a
dog would be eavesdropping.  I was one of their most valuable spies for
eight years running.  But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew
I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down.  I signed up
for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in.  I uncovered some incredible
dealings, and was awarded a batch of medals.  I got married, had a mess of
puppies, and now I'm just retired."
 
The guy is amazed.  He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.
 
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
 
"Ten dollars?  This dog is amazing.  Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
 
"Because he's a liar.  He never did any of that stuff."
::) ;D

[Oldman]

"Because he's a liar.  He never did any of that stuff."

;D ;D ;D

[TomG]

Wow!! ;D ;D ;D  Now is there anything you can do to help me remember how to retell it?? :D

[Malc]

Easy, just make up some of the most outlandish crap you can think of to have the dog do.  His story just has to be amazing.  The punchline is what gets 'em.  I love that joke.  My personal favorite, though.....

Where does a general keep his army?
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In his sleevy. ;D ;D ;D

[Smudge]

A guy takes his talking dog to a TV talent scout. The owner says to the dog, "Now the thing on top of your house is called what?"

"Roof!"

"Good! And the all-time home-run hitter is Babe...Babe..."

"Roof!"

"Get out of here," yells the talent scout.

Out on the street the dog says to the owner, "Should I have said Hank Aaron?"   

[Vampyr]

Hahahahaha!!  ;D