Funny story of the day

[pensrock]

10.5, hope you were not having chili for lunch.  ;D ;D

[Wildcat]

I absolutely loved it.  ;D ;D ;D

[westexasmoker]

HeeHeeHee!! Thats a good one!  ;D

C

[Hopefull Romantic]

Grossed me out but laughed my butt off.

Good one pens.

HR

[Smokin Soon]

AAADD
 
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS......PLEASE
READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have
it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with
  A.A.A.D.D. -

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

> I decide to water my garden.
> As I turn on the hose in the
> driveway,
> I look over at my car and decide it needs
> washing.
>
> As I start toward the garage,
> I notice mail on the porch table that
> I brought up from the mail box
> earlier.
>
> I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
>
> I lay my car keys on the table,
> put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
> and notice that the can is full.
>
> So, I decide to put the bills back
>20on the table and take out the garbage
> first.
>
> But then I think,
> since I'm going to be near the mailbox
> when I take out the garbage anyway,
> I may as well pay the bills first.
>
> I take my check book off the table,
> and see that there is only one check
> left.
>   
> My
> extra checks
>  are in my desk in the study,
> so I go inside the house to my desk where
> I find the can of Pepsi I'd been
> drinking.
>
> I'm going to look for my checks,
> but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
> so that I don't accidentally knock it
> over.
>
> The Pepsi is getting warm,
>
> and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it
> cold.
>
> As I head toward the kitchen with the
> Pepsi,
> a vase of flowers on the counter
> catches my eye--they need
>  water.
>
> I put the Pepsi on the counter and
> discover my reading glasses that
> I've been searching for all
> morning...
>
> I decide I better put them back on my
> desk,
> but first I'm going to water the
> flowers.
>
> I set the glasses back down on the
> counter,
> fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV
> remote.
> Someone left it on the kitchen table.
>
> I realize that tonight when we go to watch
> TV,
> I'll be looking for the remote,
> but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen
> table,
> so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
> but first I'll water the flowers.
>
> I pour some water in the flowers,
> but quite a bit of it spills on the
> floor.....
>
> So, I set the remote back on the
> table,
> get some towels and wipe up the
> spill.
>
> Then, I head down the hall trying to
> remember what I was planning to do.
>
> At the end of the day:
>
> the car isn't washed
> the bills aren't paid
> there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
> the flowers don't have enough water,
> there is still only 1 check in my check book,
> I can't find the remote,
> (God
> forbid!)
> I
> can't find my
>  glasses,
> and I don't remember what I did with the car
> keys.
> Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done
> today,
> I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
> and I'm really tired.
>
> I realize this is a serious problem,
> and I'll try to get some help for
>  it,
> but first I'll check my
> e-mail....
>
> Do me a favor.
> Forward this message to everyone you know,
> because I don't remember who I've sent it
> to.
>
> Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is
> coming!
     

[classicrockgriller]

ROTMFFLMAO, That's ME ! !

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D

[OU812]

I've had days like that

[squirtthecat]

Just got wind of this, haven't verified it yet..


If you receive an E-mail from the Dep. of Health warning not to eat pork products from cans, please ignore it. It is just Spam.

;)

[classicrockgriller]

Geez.....speaking of spam....
I love Blacken' spam.

[rdevous]

 
Maxine on BBQ.

"I like to rub my meat with lemon and spices...is a sentence most men who grill cannot say without giggling like idiots!"


Ray

[squirtthecat]

CRG might enjoy this one more than others..

[Hopefull Romantic]

Nice one squirt and I think you are right. CRG would enjoy that one.

HR

[squirtthecat]

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.


Below is helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending
      your stimulus check wisely:

. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to Saudi Arabia.
. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
. If you purchase fruit or vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and
     Guatemala .
. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to management
     bonuses, and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, keep the money in America by:

1. Spending it at yard sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Spending it on prostitutes, or
4. Beer, or
5. Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US ..)

It would be best if you went to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that
you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

[Tiny Tim]

1. Spending it at yard sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Spending it on prostitutes, or
4. Beer, or
5. Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US ..)

It would be best if you went to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that
you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

No Bud or Miller Products, watching Dominican Republic and Cuban players, with an Asian (they're the best.......supposedly) prostitute.  Think I'll go to a race and watch 42 of the 43 current top drivers in NASCAR, while drinking Coor's. :D