Funny story of the day

[HawkeyeSmokes]

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.


They were determined to make this a real vacation
by not wearing anything that would identify them
as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed
for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts,
shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach
dressed in their 'tourist' garb.
They were sitting on beach chairs,

enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a
'drop dead gorgeous' blond in a topless bikini
came walking straight towards them..
They couldn't help but stare.

As the blond passed them she smiled and said
'Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,'
nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then she passed on by. They were both stunned.
How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store
and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blond, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.
Again she nodded at each of them, said

'Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,'
and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said,
'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?'
'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know,
how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as
we are?' She replied,

'Father, it's me, Sister Kathleen.'

[aces-n-eights]

Some redneck humor...


Redneck Lotto winner:




Redneck Lotto winner on vacation:




Redneck yacht:




Redneck Mansion:




Redneck Timeout:




Redneck Horseshoes:




Redneck Halter top:

[KevinG]

That's pretty funny A & 8. Looks like she had her head up someones butt.

[classicrockgriller]

Did you notice the shirt on the guy in red neck yacht matches the chair!

Great jokes!

[ArnieM]

Like that one Hawkeye  ;D

[Ka Honu]

Did you notice the shirt on the guy in red neck yacht matches the chair!

Had to put on my glasses - first thought was tattoos.

[KevinG]

Did you notice the shirt on the guy in red neck yacht matches the chair!

Great jokes!

Fishing Camo.

[rdevous]

 
THERAPY...
 
Two women were playing golf.  One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
 
The ball hit one of the men. 
 
He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
 
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.  Please allow me to help.  I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him.
 
Oh, no, I'll be all right.  I'll be fine in a few minutes, the man replied.  He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.
 
At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.  She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside.
 
She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, How does that feel?
 
He replied: It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!
 
 
Ray
 

[Up In Smoke]

A&8 I want to know how you got a copy of my family album?????
By the way the limo got took by the repo man that is why i bought that snappy
yacht. ;D

[aces-n-eights]

A&8 I want to know how you got a copy of my family album?????
By the way the limo got took by the repo man that is why i bought that snappy
yacht. ;D

;D Ha!  ;D  Perhaps you can explain the choice of shirts by the captain of your yacht!  :o

[Up In Smoke]

He would be "The Man Of Constant Sorrow" !!!

[Quarlow]

That's the guy that repo the limo. It's his little brother. He said he was real sorry to have to repo his mothers only transportation but when he didn't make the payments from money his mom gave him from her grow op and instead bought crack, he needed to do his job and therefore had repo the car.

[classicrockgriller]

Let Me Tell You About My Weekend

An older, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
with a beautiful young gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new
girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000
ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another
ring over.. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, 'by
check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring
up Monday afternoon,' he said.

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man.

'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!'

[KevinG]

Note to self  ;D

[OU812]

So how was your weekend CRG ?  ;D