Running up Post count... Vote Closes March 19 2010

[cingnut]

Am I the only one sick of this thread?

[MWS]

Yup

[Wildcat]

Nope

[Phone Guy]

I've been away from this site for a while. I just wanted to get one post for today. I'll be back. ;)

[icerat4]

nope this is a keeper hahaha.

[coyote]

I'm still trying to decide. ;D

[MWS]

Coyote,

There's a yes and a no, so your the 'maybe so....'  ;)

[West Coast Kansan]

>   
> My wife and I divorced over religious differences.
> I'm Catholic and she's a bitch
>  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  Marriage is a three-ring circus:
>  Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
>
>
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
> ---
>  For Sale  :
>  Wedding dress, size 8.
>  Worn once by mistake.
>  ---------------------------------------------------------------------
>  There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman:
>  Before marriage and after marriage.
>  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>  Why were hurricanes usually named after women?
>  Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, but
>  when they go, they take your house and car.
>
>  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>  The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove
>  seemed way too qualified for the job.
>  "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual
>  experience in picking lemons?"
>  "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied.? "I've
>  been divorced three times."
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can
>  remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
>  The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me
>  the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
>  The old man says without hesitation,
>  "I now pronounce you man and wife."
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
>  All the DNA is the same.
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>  I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming.
>  Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into
> the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries.
>  Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come
> forward looked  into the cart and asked sweetly, "So which six items
> would you like to buy?"
>
>  Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>  Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly
> neighbor  and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a
> table. "Young man, we're both 90 years old," the husband said . "We
> may not have 45 minutes."
>  They were seated immediately.
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they
> would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>  All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father
>  escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting
> groom;  the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
>  The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even
> the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage,
> the bride  gave him back his credit card.
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>  Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
> and get used to the idea.
>
>  ---------------------------------------------------------------
> ---------
>
>  Three friends from the local congregation were asked, "When you're in
>  your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over
> you, what  would you like them to say?"
>  Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a
> fine  spiritual leader, and a great family man."
>
> Eugene commented: "I would like them to say I was a
>  wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in
> people's lives."
>
>  Al said: "I'd like them to say, "Look, he's moving!"
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>  Smith climbs to the top of Mt.  Sinai to get close enough to talk to
> God.
>
>  Looking up, he asks the Lord... "God, what does a million years mean
> to you?"
>  The Lord replies, "A minute."
>  Smith asks, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
>  The Lord replies, "A penny."
>  Smith asks, "Can I have a penny?"
>  The Lord replies, "In a minute."
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful  to
> me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact,
> she  sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy.
>  What do you think I should do?"
>  "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now,
> tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
>
>  -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>  John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.
>  "Give me one last request, dear," he said.
>  "Of course, John," his wife said softly.
>  "Six months after I die," he said, "I want you to marry Bob."
>  "But I thought you hated Bob," she said.
>  With his last breath John said, "I do!"
>
>  ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>  A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening
> and  I have  to talk to you about it."
>  The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"
>  The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."
>  The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"
>  The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning
> me,  what should I do?"
>  The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to
>  her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
>  A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your
>  wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours.
>  You want my advice?"
>  The man said yes and the Rabbi replied,
>  "Take the poison."

Nuts, I should have made these seperate posts on that other thread. 
>

[coyote]

Great stuff WCK.............You're on the air next week ! :D

                                                                      Coyote

[West Coast Kansan]

I got it in an email but i did think of you when I posted. 

[HCT]

 ;D ;D ;D

[3rensho]

Those are some great ones!!  ;D ;D ;D

[Wildcat]

 ;D

[iceman]

Made my day WCK. Thanks. :D

[icerat4]

LAST Smoker standing. ;D ;D ;D