Funny story of the day

[iceman]

Ohhhhhhhhhh sooooooo true!!! Don't forget to smack the dog for sitting there snickering the whole time. Who's the smart one??? Not me, ask the dog. He he he. :D

[classicrockgriller]

My wife took one of our dogs to the vet. She came home and said we have to give him a pil. told her to give it to him.
I watched for a while she "tryed" to get him to take it, and then I told her to watch me.
I took the pil touch my mouth while all 3 dogs watch, then offered it to the other two and gave it the one that needed it.
He swallowed it right down. next time she tryed it....well either she or one of the other two dogs ate the pill.

[Caneyscud]

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
· If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
· If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
· When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
· When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators..

MONEY
· A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
· A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
· A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
· The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
· A woman has the last word in any argument.
· Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
· A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
· A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
· A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend..
· A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
· A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
· A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
· A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
· A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
· Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed..
· Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
· Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
· A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!


MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

[Tenpoint5]

That's a good one Caney!!

[Caneyscud]

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us,

  WE ARE AWESOME !!!! OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!

To Those of  Us  Born 1930 - 1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! 

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.
Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight..   WHY?
Because we were always outside playing...that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..
No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. 
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.  Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!  The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! 

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS! 
 
Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

[iceman]

I think I resemble that happy man Caney!  :D

[squirtthecat]

wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles..

... hair brushes, paint stir sticks...

Amen, brother!

[Tiny Tim]

Ya left out one toy...lawn darts...da pointy ones. ;D

[Hopefull Romantic]

Caneyscud,

so profound and so true. You only left out no one in those generations was called Hyperactive and was prescribed antidotes for it.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS.

HR

[OU812]

wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles..

... hair brushes, paint stir sticks...

Amen, brother!

and the old man's belt when he got home

Thats a good one Caneyscud, kinda reminds me of my younger days

[Quarlow]

Hear hear.

[HawkeyeSmokes]

Uh Caney, some of us got the BB gun well before turning the ripe old age of 10!!!!  ;D And lived to tell about it. Great one!

[classicrockgriller]

Fun times, seams like it was just.................ekkkkkkkkkkk....50 years ago.

[iceman]

Fun times, seams like it was just.................ekkkkkkkkkkk....50 years ago.

Crud cr time sure flies by don't it!!!  :o :D Still seems like yesterday sometimes.  ;D

[classicrockgriller]

It does....I still get paddled with a ping pong paddle.