Funny story of the day

Started by icerat4, March 22, 2007, 10:32:04 AM

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Caneyscud

#1545
October 13, 2009, 01:45:28 PM
This one should qualify for a Darwin award, except it turned out where nobody died.  I still have my doubts though!  Not me!

"A man that won't sleep with his meat don't care about his barbecue" Caneyscud



"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

Tenpoint5

#1546
October 13, 2009, 08:22:28 PM
OH Hell no not my fat arse. I would get a splinter in places that dont need splinters which would throw off the trajectory an splat on the hill side would be me.
Bacon is the Crack Cocaine of the Food World.

Be careful about calling yourself and EXPERT! An ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a drip under pressure!

Wildcat

#1547
October 14, 2009, 07:02:45 AM
Cat vs Dog


Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.



CLICK HERE for Recipe Site:  http://www.susanminor.org/

Hopefull Romantic

#1548
October 14, 2009, 07:11:47 AM
The extends people are willing to go to gto get their 15 minutes never seized to amaze me.

Thanks CS

HR
I am not as "think" as you "drunk" I am.

Caneyscud

#1550
October 14, 2009, 12:29:07 PM Last Edit: October 14, 2009, 12:42:14 PM by Caneyscud
Late Breaking News!!!!!!   Late Breaking News!!!!!!   Late Breaking News!!!!!!  Late Breaking News!!!!!!  Late Breaking News!!!!!!  Late Breaking News!!!!!!   Late Breaking News!!!!!!   Late Breaking News!!!!!!  Late Breaking News!!!!!!  Late Breaking News!!!!!!  

Just in from the Wire!!!

Obama wins again!

President Obama spent a day off in the White House with the family.  The First Children were watching TV, but obediently changed the channel when the Harvard Football game was being televised.  President Obama sat on the Jefferson Couch eating fat-free, butter-free, sodium-free organicpopcorn from a recycled plastic and bamboo bowl.  After the Game, the President received a phone call from Jack O'Keefe, the Heisman Trophy chairman at the Downtown Athletic Club of New York informing the President that he had just won the Heisman Trophy for the 2009/2010 season!  The President politely accepted, but stated that he did not even know what a football was.  Mr. O'Keefe replied that Mr. Obama had won the trophy, because he might have been a great football player if only he tried harder and was a great role model for all who are not good football players and for showing that neighborhood organizing can be fruitful.
"A man that won't sleep with his meat don't care about his barbecue" Caneyscud



"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

Wildcat

#1551
October 14, 2009, 12:37:59 PM
 :D ;D ;D
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.



CLICK HERE for Recipe Site:  http://www.susanminor.org/

rdevous

#1552
October 14, 2009, 01:12:21 PM
 
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fainted when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in Church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass, what made ya come?"

Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn comes to Church every Sunday. I also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of Church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest said, "Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn't steal McGlynn's hat. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat after all."

The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, "After I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' ya decided you would rather do without the hat than burn in Hell, right?"

Murphy slowly shook his head and said, "No, Father, after ya talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery', I remembered where I left me hat."


Ray
If you can't smoke it.....you don't need it!!!

HawkeyeSmokes

#1553
October 15, 2009, 05:08:55 PM
A few more that should get Darwin awards!

HawkeyeSmokes

ArnieM

#1554
October 15, 2009, 07:32:32 PM
The cat came back.  I hope this hasn't been posted yet.  I haven't gotten through all hundred and something pages yet.

This isn't a joke, per say.  It is, though, one of my favorite animations.  Watch it a few times and you'll be humming the tune for days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bETCusT5kNM
-- Arnie

Where there's smoke, there's food.

Caneyscud

#1555
October 15, 2009, 08:58:44 PM
Quote from: HawkeyeSmokes on October 15, 2009, 05:08:55 PM
A few more that should get Darwin awards!


Hawkeye - those are seriously funny.  Bet the motorcycle one left a mark! if not worse!
"A man that won't sleep with his meat don't care about his barbecue" Caneyscud



"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

Tenpoint5

#1557
October 16, 2009, 02:09:15 PM
For Some reason this made me think of WTS!!!

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
Bacon is the Crack Cocaine of the Food World.

Be careful about calling yourself and EXPERT! An ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a drip under pressure!

Hopefull Romantic

#1558
October 16, 2009, 03:09:24 PM
Quote from: Tenpoint5 on October 16, 2009, 02:09:15 PM
For Some reason this made me think of WTS!!!

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

;D ;D ;D

HR
I am not as "think" as you "drunk" I am.

Quarlow

#1559
October 16, 2009, 03:35:13 PM
Damn, I think I'm a lesbian to. ;D ;D ;D
I like to walk threw life on the path of least resistance. But sometimes the path needs a good kick in the ass.

OBS
BBQ
One Big Easy, plus one in a box.
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