Funny story of the day

[BuyLowSellHigh]

True story, about an hour old.  It's not all funny but I don't know where else to put this.  Consider it classic Texas wisdom.

Was sitting watching my oldest son's Tae Kwon-Do class.  One of the teenage student's at the school came in to pick up some stuff he had ordered.  As is typical a lot of hello's, how are you, etc., but this time there is more.  His right hand and half his arm from his wrist to elbow is covered in what appears to be an ointment and he is carrying arm a bit out and awkwardly.  The usual questioning, what happened, and he then confesses.  Seems he tried using gasoline to start a fire over the weekend and mostly managed to set his hand on fire.  We look, clearly some 2nd and some 3rd degree burns (small area0). A lot of parental questions, comments and advice to the young man.  After a few minutes all seems to be done and everyone returns to their routine. 

About five minutes later another parent who knows this young man well walks in ... hi, how are you doing, etc. and notices the arm.  What did you do ?  He tells his story in brief.  And then comes the response that made us all howl, including the young man with the burned hand,   "Well if your going to be dumb you gotta be tough."

[Quarlow]

Hahaha, that is so true. ;D ;D ;D

[squirtthecat]

"Well if your going to be dumb you gotta be tough."

That is going in my QOTD database!


--

Glad to hear the boy is Ok..

[BuyLowSellHigh]

Saw this as a bumper sticker on the back of a Geo Metro this evening ...

I started with nothing,
And I still have some of it left.

[DarqMan]

How true ;D

[OU812]

My nothing is gettin smaller every day.  ;D

[Sailor]

Can anyone loan me some nothing?  Seems that I ran out. :o

[Quarlow]

Gary Coleman's casket, even has his name on it!!!..He will be missed!


  Ouch!


Stay cool, Gary....and pass the potato salad.

[DarqMan]

That's cold.

[Quarlow]

 :D :D :D

[rdevous]

TWENTY-FOUR DOLLARS
 
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $24.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.  In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.
 
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
 
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
 
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
 
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.  Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
 
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. 
 
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, 'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!'
 
That's when she shot him!
 
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut!
 
 
Ray
 
 

[classicrockgriller]

A friend told me that he was looking for something in his wife's closet and came

across a box. The box had a egg carton in it with 3 eggs and 3 $100 bills.

When he wife came home he ask her about the box. She told him the eggs

represented the number of times she had been unfaithfull to him in their 35 years

of marriage. He said he decided not to say anything cause he had done worst

than that. So he ask her about the 3 $100 bills. She said "Well everytime I got

a dozen eggs I sold them".

[KevinG]

Sounds like my X girlfriend.

[classicrockgriller]

To Be 6 Again...


A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his  wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite  candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
finally, they wobbled home and collapsed into bed

 
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you dummy!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

[KevinG]

I don't think I would have even heard that, sounds too much like another word with an "e" in it.