Funny story of the day

[Smokin Soon]

Jack Daniels Fishing Story

I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.
Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.


Life is good in the South.

[Mr Walleye]

 :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  ;D

I'll be using that one!  ;)

Mike

[Caneyscud]

On a water moccasin? up there?

[watchdog56]

Now thats funny :D :D

[rdevous]

 
A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says:  'I went by your grandma's house today and  I saw her in the hallway buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!'
 
The biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.
 
The drunk leans on the table again and says: 'I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!'
 
The biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing.
 
The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, 'I'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!'
 
At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says....................
 
'Grandpa..........Go home!
 
Ray
 

[Quarlow]

Well I have to say I saw that one coming but it's a good one just the same. 8) ;D

[ArnieM]

Smart dog.  Click to play.

[classicrockgriller]

Very Smart dog! ;D

Thanks I needed a laugh this morning.

[Wildcat]

Wow! That dog is more energetic than mine. Mine would not bother with the cat. She views it as finders - keepers.

[TestRocket]

I didn't see that one coming! Haha!

[iceman]

Good one Arnie  :D

[Smokin Soon]

New FDA Alcohol Warnings. During the course of my lifetime, I can say "GUILTY AS CHARGED"  ;D


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several people?!)

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

[ArnieM]

New FDA Alcohol Warnings. During the course of my lifetime, I can say "GUILTY AS CHARGED"  ;D

Been there, done that - except for the bra  ;D

[Tenpoint5]

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

During one of these a Bra mysteriously appeared hanging from my rear view mirror. Don't know how it got there to this day 20 years later.

[TestRocket]

My wife found a bra under the front seat of my truck. I had to wear that thing for two months before she would believe it was mine!