Funny story of the day

[3rensho]

Great one Manx  ;D ;D ;D  That is sound advice indeed!!!!

Tom

[Wildcat]

 ;D Yeah, I would not mess with him either!  ;D

[HCT]

 :D :D :D

[iceman]

I do think the alien just got "HOSED". :D ;)

[manxman]

I do think the alien just got "HOSED".

:D :D :D

[iceman]

Scrabble:

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands!

[Wildcat]

 ;D

[manxman]

Cowboy Roy always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots.
Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly.


He walks into the house and says to his wife "Notice anything different about me?"
Bessie looks him over "Nope."


Frustrated, Roy storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and
walks back into the room completely naked, except for the boots.
Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"




Bessie looks up and says, " Roy , what's different? It's hanging
down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."


Furious, Roy yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE?
IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!"




To which Bessie replies,

>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

"Shoulda bought a hat, Roy , shoulda bought a hat"

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[iceman]

Or at least a tie! :D :D :D

[hillbillysmoker]

Snoring

A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the
wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to
tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles, and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. the
wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself, she goes
to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully
around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring!! The
woman is amazed!!!

Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking
with his buddies. He climbs into bed and begins snoring loudly. The
woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the
closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her
husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him!!! The woman sleeps
soundly.

The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into
the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances down
and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.He is very confused, and
as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to
his Dog's testicles.

He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't
know where we were......Or what we did.. But, by God... We took
First and Second place!!!

[Wildcat]

Naw - she wouldn't!?  ??? ::)

[manxman]

How many people can relate to this scenario!!:


A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost.

He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can
you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't
know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in IT," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is
I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything,
you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people
beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same
position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my effing
fault."

[3rensho]

Good one Manxman.  That woman is right on the money!!  ;D ;D

tom

[iceman]

Oh how true it is Manx :D ;D ;)