Funny story of the day

[iceman]

GOOD ONE!!  ;D

[OU812]

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

[rdevous]

   
Medicare coverage in a nutshell ....
 
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello..'
 
' Mrs. Sanders, please.'
 
'Speaking.'
 
"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
 
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
 
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV... We can't tell which is which.'
 
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?', questioned Mrs. Sanders.
 
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'
 
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
 
'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town . . If he finds his way home . . Don't sleep with him.'
 
 
Ray
 
 

[Quarlow]

Ha LOl

[pikeman_95]

I'm passing this on because it worked for me.

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election, we should always finish things that we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished.

I just finished a bottle of Jack Daniels , a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all ur frenz who need inner piss. An telum u luvum

[viper125]

LOL! Well what about us non drinkers? LOL!

[Quarlow]

Non drinkers please refer to the Honeydew list. Honey do this and honey that, cause you started to fix the bathroom and you said you would clean the garage and so on, and so on. LOL  ;D ;D ;D

[JZ]

Non drinkers please refer to the Honeydew list. Honey do this and honey that, cause you started to fix the bathroom and you said you would clean the garage and so on, and so on. LOL  ;D ;D ;D

Good one. ;D For once drinking has its advantages.  :o

[beefmann]

one night i stopped in at a bar , ordered up my  drink sat down and started sipping.. before long this pretty blond lady sits down next to me orders her drink as we struck up a conversation .. we finished our drinks about  the same time  and I offered to buy her next drink,,, she refused and the conversation went on, as we finished the drinks i offered to take her out to dinner,,, again she said no...

Alright i said but i have to know why you are saying no. did I offend you? .. She said no i did not offend her , so i asked why  would you  not  go out to dinner with me??

she said that shes a lesbian! ! ...

so I  said....





so am I.... I like women

[viper125]

MAn!!! :-\ Did you have to remind me of the honey dew list. How cruel. Its holiday season! ::) Well in that case how about a beer and a double shot?

[rdevous]

 
Mr. Johnson walked anxiously to the house and knocked.
 
When a nice old lady answered, he said very sadly, "I'm sorry, madam, but I have some bad news. I'm afraid I have run over your cat. I would like to replace it." 
 
The little lady looked him up and down and said, "I'm game, but how are you at catching mice?"
 
 
Ray
 
 

[Salmonsmoker]

Subject:  A Christmas Story

A story of marriage and communication between a husband and his wife.

  A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.  As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.  She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.  Because she was so worried, she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, " honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day? "
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, " yes, I remember that jewelry store. "
He said, " well, I'm in the bar right next to it. "

[OU812]

At an Irish wedding, someone said,

"Would all the married men stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living?"

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

[Salmonsmoker]

 ;D ;D ;D

[rdevous]

 
It's good to be the bartender!!!
 
 
Ray