Funny story of the day

[Ray ray]

How do you post on here all I can find is the reply in a thread

[TedEbear]

[beefmann]

A Man, travelling by plane, was in urgent need of using the  mens room.  It was occupied Each and every time he triend the  Door.  the stewardess aware of his predicament suggested that he  use the  ladies  room. She cautioned him not to push any of the  buttons on wall,

Those buttons are marked "WW" , "WA". "PP" and ATR . His curiosity got the better of him as he sat there he carefully pressed the  first button .At  once  "Warm Water" Sprayed gently  over his entire bottom.. He thought  Golly these girls Really  have it  good...

The button  marked " WA" brought Warm Air, which  dried his bottom completely...This  is wonderful he thought... The  "PP" brought a Powder Puff which  patted him  lightly  with  scented  powder ... now  for last button as   time passed and was aware  of nothing until he awakened in the Hospital.

in a panic he buzzed for the  nurse. When she appeared He Cried  out " What Happened ! !    What am i  doing here?!  The last thing i remember, I was in the  Ladies  room on the  Plane !...The nurse Replied .. So you  were. But you were  also  told not tp push any of the  buttons on the wall.... All was Well until you  pushed the  last  one marked ATR...




Which means " Automatic Tampax Remover."  So you are here and your  penis is under your Pillow

[Orion]

A biker has been riding all day through Death Valley in the intense heat.

See's a bar ahead and thinks " I'm going in for a cold beer".

Pulls up and approaches the door.  A man steps out and says "Sorry man, you can't come in without a tie on".

"WTH" he thinks, "I don't wear ties."

Goes back to his bike and pulls a small set of jumper cables out of the saddle bags and puts it around his neck and ties a knot.

He goes back to the door and the man steps out, looks him over and says "Ok, you can come in, just don't start anything".

[GusRobin]

LITTLE BRUCE

Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they know they are in love.
One day they decide that they want to get married,
so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
"Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love
and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing,
Mr. Smith replies,
"Well Bruce, you are only 10..
Where will you two live?"

Without even taking a moment to think about it,
Bruce replies,
"In Jenny's room.
It's bigger than mine
and we can both fit there nicely."
Mr. Smith says with a huge grin,
"Okay, then how will you live?
You're not old enough to get a job.
You'll need to support Jenny."

Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance,
Jenny makes five bucks a week
and I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month,
so that should do us just fine."

Mr. Smith is impressed
Bruce has put so much thought into this.

"Well Bruce,
it seems like you have everything figured out.
I just have one more question.
What will you do if the two of you should have
little children
of your own?"

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says,
"Well, we've been lucky so far."

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little sh?t is adorable.

[beefmann]

OLD FART PRIDE
I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only 'old fart' receiving it. Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see.



        Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the National Anthem, Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
        Old Farts remember World War II, Pearl Harbour , Guadalcanal , Normandy and Hitler. They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing. They remember the 50 plus Peacekeeping Missions from 1945 to 2005, not to mention Vietnam .
        If you bump into an Old Fart on the sidewalk he will apologize. If you pass an Old Fart on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady. Old Farts trust strangers and are polite, particularly to women.
        Old Farts hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
        Old Farts get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like any filth or dirty language on TV or in movies.
        Old Farts have moral courage and personal integrity. They seldom brag unless it's about their children or grandchildren.
        It's the Old Farts who know our great country is protected, not by politicians, but by the young men and women in the Air Force, Army, Navy and RCMP, serving their country.

    This country needs Old Farts with their work ethic, sense of responsibility, pride in their country and decent values. We need them now more than ever. Thank Goodness for Old Farts!

     

    Pass this on to all the "Old Farts" you know.

     

    I was taught to respect my elders. It's just getting harder to find them.

     

[Mr Walleye]

[Quarlow]

Hahaha. good one.

[Orion]

Now that's funny Mr. Walleye. Thanks.

[iceman]

My day just got a little bit better!  ;D

[RedJada]

[beefmann]

LOL that is to funny

[watchdog56]

LOL

[beefmann]

I can Remember... Snap crackle and  pop  was  a  great sound  when milk was  poured over cereal in the  morning  followed by a  smile..... now a days I  hear my  bones snap crackle and  pop that is followed by  ow ow ow and a  lot  of pain ! ! :)   

[Wildcat]

U got that right, lol.