Funny story of the day

[LilSmoker]

Nice Manx!

I was choked that we lost, but at least our guys did better than our footbal team!

Anyway, although we lost, they did us proud!

[iceman]

 :D :D :D :D :D Good one. Probably real close to the truth too!!! ;D ;D ;)

[manxman]

Probably real close to the truth too!!!

Yep.... the differences between men and women eh?  ;) :D

[West Coast Kansan]

Man was standing naked in front of the mirror... totally disgusted. Said to wife, I'm bald, fat, and totally out of shape and feeling depressed. Can you find something good to complement me?

Wife says

Your eyesight is almost perfect.  8)

[manxman]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[HCT]

At least I have a full head of hair. ;D

[iceman]

At least I have a full head of hair. ;D

Well shoot HGT. Ya upped me by one!!!  :D ;D ;)

[LilSmoker]

Here's another:

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a Nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the Nun says, "pull into the next alley."

The Nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the Nun, why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must tell you, I'm married and I'm Jewish."



The Nun says.............................................. "that's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party"

:o ;)

[Wildcat]

 ;D  That was a good one LS!  :D

[Duster]

[coyote]

Great on L S...........Again your story will be aired for the masses. ;D

Coyote

[manxman]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

[manxman]

This will make your eyes water guys, and give the girls a laugh no doubt!!??

Subject: never assume anything.


A salesman checked into a futuristic hotel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.

I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes."

Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, $20.00.' "Why not?" thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 Cents.' The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.

When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... which now had a button sewn on the end

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D

[LilSmoker]

That's funny Manx!............and yeah it did make my eyes water!