Funny story of the day

[FLBentRider]

Why do we drive on a Parkway and park on a Driveway ?

[aces-n-eights]

The same reason there is a pair of panties and one bra

[Wildcat]

Although not a funny, I thought you folks would enjoy these words of wisdom.

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.   'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?'

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.
You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

[Mr Walleye]

Very Good WildCat!  ;)

Mike

[iceman]

Good one Cat man. I think we all need to remind ourselves of this once in awhile.  :)

[Buck36]

Found in a Newspaper from Holland this week...................

We in Holland cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a bi#$% and who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?

Down to basics if you ask me!

[Buck36]

What to wear when the wife has chores.....

[Wildcat]

Now that is my kind of couch and PJ's.  ;D

[Wildcat]

A  farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.   He  painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and  set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.   As he  was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on  his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.

'Mister,' he said, 'I want to buy one of your puppies.'
'Well,' said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck,
'These  puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money.'
The boy dropped his head for a moment.  Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

'I've got thirty-nine cents.  Is that enough to take a look?'

'Sure,'  said the farmer.  And with that he let out a whistle.
'Here,  Dolly!' he called.  Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly  followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.
His eyes danced with delight.  As the dogs made their way to the fence, the  little boy noticed something else stirring inside the  doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

'I want that one,' the little boy said, pointing to the runt.  The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,  'Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would.'

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. 

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, ' You see sir, I don't run too well myself,
and he will need someone who understands.'

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.

'How  much?' asked the little boy. 'No charge,' answered the farmer, 'There's  no charge for love.'

The world is full of people who need  someone who understands  ..

[Mr Walleye]

Another great story WildCat!  ;)

Mike

[bigredsmoker]

Ok, enough of the sappy stuff, back to a joke:

Three Rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie
and Donnie.  As they start their descent Cooter slips, falls off the
tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, damn, someone
should go and tell his wife.'

Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do
it.' 

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.

Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?'

'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies.

'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she
gave you beer?'

'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said
to her, you must be Cooter's widow'.'

She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.'

Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are .'


Rednecks Are Good At Sensitive Stuff.

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. 

When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside,and the heart closed again.

It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist.   

Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter.

Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked: 'Why are you laughing, Mister?' 

'I was just thinking about my own funeral,' the man replied................... 'I'm a gynaecologist ...........'

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[3rensho]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  Great one Manx.  LOL

[manxman]

A Scotsman phones his dentist to inquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.

'£85 for an extraction, sir' the dentist replied.

'£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper...?'

'That's the normal charge,' said the dentist.

'Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthetic...?'

'That's unusual,sir, but we could do it and knock, say, £15 off.'

'Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without an anesthetic...?'

'I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to, say, £40'.

'How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?'

'It'll certainly be good for the students', mulled the dentist. 'but it will be very traumatic, and I'll still have to charge you £5.'

'Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal,' said the Scotsman. 'Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife next Tuesday then.. ?'