Funny story of the day

[Mr Walleye]

Ohhhh that's good Wildcat!  :D

Where's LQ when ya need her!  ::)

Mike

[westexasmoker]

HeHeHe I like that one..yep fifty bucks thats 3 boxes of mesquite!

C

[Wildcat]

A blond (helpful person) lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to San Diego?'  'Sure,' answered the blond, 'do you need a lift?'

'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble.'

'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into th eir seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!

There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. What the hell are you doing here?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo. 

'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World.'

[Wildcat]

Dear Abby questions:

> WHAT ARE YOUR    ANSWERS ???

> ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS    AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!

> Dear Abby,  A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

> Dear Abby,  What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

> Dear Abby,  I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

> Dear Abby,  I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

> Dear Abby,  I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

> Dear Abby,  Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

> Dear Abby,  I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

> Dear Abby,  My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every  week for two and a half years. He must be crazy!

> Dear Abby,  I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

> Dear Abby,  My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.

> Dear Abby,   You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?



> Remember these people can vote, which probably explains the current situation in Washington

[manxman]

 :D :D :D :D

[car54]

Wildcat,

  Some people are not smart most of the time. It was a good article.

Brad

[Smoking Duck]

The real scary part is that not only can they vote but they can reproduce as well.  And unfortunately, they usually do at such a high rate.  Course, that could be why there is an overabundance of folks in Washington  ;D

[pensrock]

After reading this you'll understand why I'm still single.  ;D

Bobs Son asked his mother the following question, 'Mom , why are wedding dresses white?'
The mother looks at her son and replies, 'Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.'  ::)


The son thanks his Mom and goes off to double-check this with his father.


'Dad why are wedding dresses white?'


The father looks at his son in surprise and says, 'Son, all household appliances come in white.'  ;D ;D ;D

[FLBentRider]

 ;D ;D ;D :D

[La Quinta]

ARRRGGGGHHHHH...:)

[westexasmoker]

 HeeheeHee  ;D

C

[3rensho]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  Gotta remember that one.

[deb415611]

ARRRGGGGHHHHH...:)

I second LQ's ARRRGGGGGHHHH  :)

[Smoking Duck]

I remain giggling like a school girl....................

But I feel for the sister smokers out there  ;D



















Hey guys, do you feel like I covered myself enough on that one?  ;D ;D ;D

[West Coast Sausage Maker]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.
OPEC nations buy U.S. and Canadian grain at $7.00 a bushel.
Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel.
Can't buy it?  Tough!   Eat your oil!
Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel ass!!!