Funny story of the day

[westexasmoker]

Now there's a plan..simple and straight to the point!

C

[La Quinta]

You covered yourself nicely Giggles...for the moment...you are safe!! :)

[Wildcat]

I like the corn plan.  Ought to send it to DC as food for thought.  ;)

[pensrock]

Sorry Deb and LQ, but for some unknown reason everyone else thought it was funny.  ;D

Like I said..... now you understand why I'm still single.  ;) 
I told that joke at the club the other day and I had every woman in the place ready to kill me. LOL.... and I do not know why.  ::)

[La Quinta]

Ok...Molly McRock...:) I get ya know...

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D

[westexasmoker]

Am I old or what...does anybody remember avocado for appliances..oh and yellow shag carpet! 

C

[Smoking Duck]

Nope.......................you're old  :P ;D

[La Quinta]

Hey WTS...I remember those...and a nice golden formica counter top to go with it!!! :)

[pensrock]

It may just be me but I do not think a bride would look good in 'avocado'.  ;D

[Smoking Duck]

I love avacados..........I think most women would look good in them........mmmmmmmmmmm, guacamole.........good........

[FLBentRider]

that... was... just... ducky.

[Tiny Tim]

Guess that means I gotta find a bride that don't mind wearing Stainless Steel.........

[Consiglieri]

Our house had avocado appliances, mustard glass in the china cabinet, grass cloth wallpaper, and rust burlap wall paper as an accent on the kitchen soffits.  The rust looked nice next to the avocado green "ski jump" cooktop hood.  And we had some of that gold shag in one of the bedrooms too. 

The price was right, but I think we made up the difference ripping out and replacing stuff.  We've at least brought the house out of 70s chic.  We should have left it in and marketed the place as "vintage."  We did keep the intercom system, mainly because I didn't want to patch all the drywall.  Plus, I can make ghost noises throughout the house. 

[bigredsmoker]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the shower.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.