Funny story of the day

[Wildcat]

Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept at their place, and two swore
he was still there.

[iceman]

Good ones Manx and Wildcat  :D

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

[West Coast Sausage Maker]

Definition of Politically Correct


The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at
Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a
contemporary term.

This year's term was Political Correctness.

The winner wrote,

"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional,
illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream
media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible
to pick up a turd by the clean end."

[FLBentRider]

 :) :D ;D ;D

[3rensho]

 ;D ;D ;D  Too bleedin' true, that.

[West Coast Kansan]

TBS,
ya nailed it with that one  :D

[iceman]

BINGO TBS  :D :D :D

[manxman]

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary....his wife was really mad .

She told him 'Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!'

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

[Mr Walleye]

 :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  ;D

That's good Manxman!

Mike

[manxman]

Irish Boy's Confession ...... all names are ficticious!!!!!

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, Dicky?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Dicky, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Mary Walsh?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Brown?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Margaret Doyle?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Anne O' Neil?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Catherine 0' Toole, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped Dicky, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Dicky walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'4 Months holiday and five good leads

[FLBentRider]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

[dick621]

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman. "  " Oh yea? said Charlie. " And how did this one end?"  " When it was over," Mike replied, she came to me on her hands and knees."  " Really," said Charlie, "Now thats a switch!  What did she say?"
She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D good one!

[westexasmoker]

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the first one to reach her, but end up in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to test them 'The first one who can use the words liver and cheese in an intelligent sentence can go out with me!

The sturdy, muscular black lab speaks quickly and says 'I love liver and cheese.'

'Oh, how childish' says the poodle, 'that shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.'

She turns to the tall, shiny golden retriever and says 'How well can you do?'

'Ummm. I Hate liver and cheese,' blurts the golden retriever.

'My, my,' said the poodle.  'I guess it's hopeless, that was no better then the lab's sentence.'

She turns to the last of the three 'How about you, little guy?'

Tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell chihuahua.  He gives her a smile, and a sly wink and turns to the other two and says.....

'Liver alone, Cheese mine!'