Funny story of the day

[manxman]

I guess habs is my hero.

correct answer!!  ;) :D

[classicrockgriller]

My hero's have always been Cowboys .... and they still are today. ;D (Willie Nelson song)

[Caneyscud]

Makes my Blue Eyes cry in the rain.

So did he when he brought out "Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond Of Each Other" in 2006. 

[Caneyscud]

7 degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang
at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles
from here!' and hung up.
The husband said, 'Who was that?'

The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear..'


SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking do wn the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'

The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'

So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'


THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so,she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'

A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'


FIFTH DEGREE

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
A: 'Is it mine?'


SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what
Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision

George Washington had to make before he crossed the   Delaware  .'


SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house
ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and
reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,
and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde
ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do
they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'

[schneep]

Grandmom decides to take the little grand daughter to see Grandpa in the hospital, when they get near his room, the grand daughter runs ahead to see him, when grandma gets there the little one is asking him to make the sound of a frog, he asks her why she wants him to do that, and she replies--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Grandma says we are all going to Disney World after you croak!!!"

[rdevous]

 
The Cowboy and St. Peter.
 

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.  'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.


'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.  'On a trip  to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.  I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.  So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.  I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick  the crap out of all of you!'
 
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'


 
Ray
 

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D

[3rensho]

Ray, that had me laughing out loud.  ;D ;D ;D

[schneep]

If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked???


If man developed from monkeys and apes,  why do we still have monkeys and apes??

[Ka Honu]

If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked???

I thought this thread was supposed to be funny, not offensive, insensitive and disgusting.

[rdevous]

If a turtle loses its shell, is it homeless or naked???

I thought this thread was supposed to be funny, not offensive, insensitive and disgusting.

....and cold too.........It's your Birthday after all!!!!!!
   
Ray

[schneep]

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.   :'(

If you ate both pasta and antipasta,  would you still be hungry?  ???

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Does the little mermaid wear a algebra?  ::)

Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines?  8)

[schneep]

The Banana Test


There is a very very very tall coconut tree, and four animals, a Lion, a Chimp, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel  decide to see who is the fastest to get to the top to get a banana.


Pick the one you think will be the fastest.

Your answer will show proof of your personality.

Got your answer, now scroll down to see how you do.
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
                                                               **
If you picked the Lion-----------------------------------------You are DULL
If you picked the Chimp---------------------------------------You are DENSE
If you picked the Giraffe------------------------------You are a complete MORON
If you picked the Squirrel--------------------------------------You are HOPELESS
                                                              **
                                                              **
                                                              **
                                                              **
                                                              **



Everyone with a brain knows there are NO bananas on a COCONUT tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                           












                                                                 

[Tiny Tim]

Yeah, but are the animals smart enough to know that banananananas don't come from cococococonut trees?

[Ka Honu]

Yeah, but are the animals smart enough to know that banananananas don't come from cococococonut trees?

The lion, chimp, and giraffe might know but the squirrel probably doesn't (and I doubt any of the others would tell him/her).