Funny story of the day

[beefmann]

good one  ;D ;D

[iceman]

It was bound to happen soon or later

[beefmann]

It was bound to happen soon or later

i wonder what they have for lunch

[OU812]

It was bound to happen soon or later

Theres gotta be a town called "Doughnut"  ;D

[Caneyscud]

Did any one call the..............

[OU812]

Did any one call the..............

I knew it!!

[smoker pete]

We visited Amish Country last Spring ... Didn't see their police cars but .......  ;D

[aces-n-eights]

[beefmann]

dont tell me it finally happened ! !

[Quarlow]

I better buy a lottery ticket. My dad always said I wouldn't win till that happened.

[mikecorn.1]

 VERY BRAVE MAN's JOKES

1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of t!t$s in there..

4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

5 - Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

10 - Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%...
It's called a Wedding Cake.

13 - Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who don't own a gun.








Sent from my iPhone 5 using Tapatalk

[rdevous]

 
New Password...
 

Always choose a memorable password.
 
A lady helps her man install a new computer.  Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, a word that he'll always remember.
 
As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, he selects a word, but he is annoyed with her reaction, when he selects: mypenis.
 
As he hits "enter", to validate the selection, his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria!!!
 

The computer had replied:  TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!
 
 
Ray
 
 

[devo]

Just bought one of them rice rocket motorcycles

[rdevous]

 
HARRY THE EAGLE
 
 
Well one day Harry the Eagle waited at the nest for Mary, his darling of 10 glorious years. After a while when she didn't return he went looking and found her. She had been hit by a truck and was dead! Harry was devastated, but after about six minutes of mourning he decided that he must get himself another mate, but since there weren't any lady eagles available he'd have to cross the feather barrier. So he flew off to find a new mate. He found a lovely dove and brought her back to the nest. The sex was good but all the dove would say is .......... 'I am a DOVE, I want to love! I am a DOVE, I want to love!' Well this so got on Harry's nerves so he kicked the dove out of the nest and flew off once more to find a mate.. He soon found a very sexy loon and brought her back to the nest. Again the sex was good but all the loon would say is........ 'I am a LOON, I want to spoon! I am a LOON, I want to spoon!' So out with the loon. Once more he flew off to find a mate. This time he found a gorgeous duck and he brought the duck back to the nest. This time the sex was great, but all the duck would say was.....
 
 
NO, The duck didn't say THAT !
 
 
... Don't be SO disgusting!
 
 
The duck said....
 
 
"I am a DRAKE, You made a MISTAKE!!!"
 
 
 
Ray
 
 

[rdevous]

 
The Church Dinner
 
 
A group of friends from the Cottonwood Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games.  The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
 
When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak.
 
But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms. They are too high."
 
He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."
 
She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."
 
He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK." So Janet decided to give it a try.. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.  Then she went out on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet
watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.
 
The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve.  After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Janet's ear.  She said, "Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot is dead."
 
Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.
 
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it.  Iwill call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible.  We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach.  Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm.."
 
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road.  The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
 
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty.
 
After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Janet, "You know, that fellow that run over Ol' Spot never even stopped."
 
 
 
Ray