11.5 Pounds Of Jerky

[agent provocateur]

for the last week all i have eaten is jerky... 11.5 pounds to be exact... and all i have drank is water... 1+ gallons per day...


day 1... 2lbs of jerky
day 2... 2lbs of jerky
day 3... 1.5lbs of jerky
day 4... 1.5lbs of jerky
day 5... 1.5lbs of jerky
day 5... 1.5lbs of jerky
day 6... 1.5llb of jerky
day 7... still working on it...

day 4 my farts were absolutely unbareable...
day 5 and 6 no change except i have not had a hard poo in days...

today... my breath smells like jerky... my body smells like jerky... my wizz smells like jerky... my farts smell like jerky... my poos smell like jerky... i have achieved whole body jerky saturation... there was much rejoycing...

[MWS]

Thanks for sharing that....... :-\

[Arcs_n_Sparks]

I think the Agent is just being provocative....... :D :D :D

Probably also trying to smoke from the inside-out :o

Arcin' & Sparkin'

[iceman]

I think Agent just brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "The guys a total jerk" :D ;D ;) ::)
Sorry......I just had to say it!

[agent provocateur]

day 7... 2lbs of jerky
day 8... 2lbs of jerky

my shoes smell like jerky...

[agent provocateur]

i have not pooed in days...

[MWS]

[asa]

AP -
Thanks so much for sharing. Why don't you send us your address - I know a guy named Guido who I'll be happy to send over to visit you.  He'll getcha goin' right quick! 8)

[agent provocateur]

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
with an eye like an eagle and as tall as a mountain was he...

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
he was brave he was fearless and as tough as a mighty oak tree...

from the coonskin cap on the top of ol jerky eating dan
to the heel of his rawhide shoe...
the rippin'est... roarin'est... fightin'est... jerky eatin'est man the frontier ever knew...

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
and he fought for america to make all americans free...

what a boone... what a doer...
what a jerky eating dream come-er-true-er was he...

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
with a whoop and a holler his jerky breath couuld mow down a forest of trees...

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
if he frowned at a river in july all the water would freeze...

but a peaceable... jerky eating pioneer fella was dan...
when he smiled all the ice would thaw...
the singin'est... laughin'est... happiest... jerky eatin'est man
the frontier ever saw...

daniel boone was a jerky eating man...
yes... a jerky eating big man...
wth a dream of a country that'd always be jerky eatin and always forever be free...

what a boone... what a doer...
what a jerky eating dream come-er-true-er was he...

[agent provocateur]

my toe jam resembles last years jerky maranade...

[MWS]

Now that I have a set of Jerky Racks (major award winner don't cha know), I will be watching your jerky posts with great interest.....

[agent provocateur]

the jerky diet is going well... about 1 to 1.5 pounds per day... the only issue is until today i could not get any satisifaction... today... i had a movement... the first in weeks... take a look for yourself...

[coyote]

Way,way,waaaayyyyy the hell to much information.
                                Starting to feel .......JERKEyD around...couldn't help it.

[robs]

Is that a piece of corn?

I think your bowl is starting to get a smoke ring. Not sure how that happens...

[iceman]

Good grief AP and here all along I thought the only thing stuffed full of __it was the holiday turkey and my buddy Stumpy! :D