Funny story of the day

[manxman]

Five surgeons are at a meeting:


The first, a Manchester surgeon, says: 'I like to see accountants on my

operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is

numbered.'


The second, a Liverpool surgeon, responds:'Yeah, but you

should try  electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded.'


The third, a Newcastle surgeon, says: 'No, I really think

librarians are  the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'


The fourth, a Birmingham surgeon, chimes in:'You know, I

like construction workers...those guys always understand

when you have a few parts left over...


But the fifth, a London surgeon, shuts them all up when he

observed: You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to

operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine,

and the head and the arse are interchangeable.

[Mr Walleye]

 :D :D :D :D ;D

That seems to be true everywhere in the world!  ;)

Mike

[LilSmoker]

That's good Manx, and sounds right to me

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D
So very true!
;D ;D ;D

[FLBentRider]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[La Quinta]

  :D  :D   :D  :D

[3rensho]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Described politicians to a tee!!!  Good one Manx

[Wildcat]

DIVORCE - VS - MURDER


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into a pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide"

The Pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The Pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy!  I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.  That's against the law!  I'll lose my license!  They'll throw both of us in jail!  All kinds of bad things will happen.  Absolutely not!   You will not get any cyanide from me!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the Pharmacist's wife.

The Pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now that's a different story.  You didn't tell me you had a prescription!"

[FLBentRider]

 ;D ;D ;D

[LilSmoker]

Haha! yeah that's good Wildcat!

[West Coast Sausage Maker]

 ;D ;D ;D

[bigredsmoker]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'It is 3:00 in the morning!'  He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunken guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.  He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

[Tenpoint5]

 

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.
He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'
The boy replied, 'What turkey?'
The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'
The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'
The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.
If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'
The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!'

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D Nice one.  Happy Thanksgiving back to ya.  ;)