Funny story of the day

[manxman]

Was she in a Black Boxter - I think I saw her yesterday!

:D :D :D

[iceman]

Good one Manx!  :D I know we have a few of those drivers on this side of the pond too  :o

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D

[3rensho]

Variations on when someone says "Let's get a drink" -

[Caneyscud]

That is too funny!  You have to look at all the little pictures to get the full effect though.  Good one 3r! and thanks for posting it!


Shakespeare
The Bard of Hot Aire
Threadkiller Extraordinaire'

[manxman]

Very true!  :D :D :D

[manxman]

This is a letter of complaint from a passenger on Virgin Atlantic to Sir Richard Branson, it needs to be read in conjunction with the pictures. It had me in tears of laughter at one stage!  :D :D :D

http://partnerofapilot.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/funny-virgin-complaint-letter/

[Wildcat]

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much
discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.


After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the
preacher's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church  and how much more it could potentially cost.


After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, 'Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us.'


Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers.'

[Wildcat]

Bubba had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Bubba's 21st birthday came a round, he and his pal Jim Bob took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Bubba stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Jim Bob just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Bubba went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, 'it's my 21st birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my Pappy, his Pappy, and his Pappy before him?'

Granny looked deeply into Bubba's troubled eyes and said, 'Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you dumbarse '.

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D wildcat

[manxman]

Ron's Surgery

When Ron first noticed that his p*nis was growing larger
and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.

But after several weeks, his p*nis had grown 18 inches.

Ron became quite concerned. He was having problems dressing, and
even walking. So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist.


After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that,
though rare, Ron's condition (Donkey Doodle,) it could be fixed through corrective surgery.

'How long will Ron be on crutches?' the wife asked anxiously.


'Crutches? Why would he need crutches?' responded the surprised doctor.

'Well,' said the wife coldly, 'you're gunna lengthen his legs, aren't you?

[bigredsmoker]

 :D   :D :D :D :D

[Smoking Duck]

Here's a joke for the blonde gals who are tired of dumb blonde girl jokes:



An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

[Smoking Duck]

Three women are about to be executed. One's a Doctor, one's a Lawyer, and one's a Redneck.

The guard brings the Doctor forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."

Suddenly the Doctor yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.

The guard brings the Lawyer forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."

Suddenly the Lawyer yells, "TORNADO!!!"

Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.

By now the Redneck has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim..."

And the Redneck yells, "FIRE!!!"

[Mr Walleye]

 :D  :D  :D  ;D

I hate it when that happens!  ;)  :D

Mike