Funny story of the day

[Tenpoint5]

On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said:

'Today I am going to create a land called Iowa.



It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty.

It shall have tall majestic landscapes full of buffalo, tall grass, and hawks,

beautiful skies, forests full of deer, rich farmland and fair skinned people.

God continued, 'I shall make the land rich in resources so as to make the inhabitants prosper,

I shall call these inhabitants Hawkeyes,

and they  shall be known as the most friendliest people.

But Lord,' asked Gabriel, 'don't you think you are being too generous to these Iowans?

'Not really,' replied God 'just wait and see the winters I am going to give them.

[Tenpoint5]

The Flu Shot have you gotten yours? Whats really in it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWfCnjnShnM

[manxman]

On my list of things to do when I retire!  ;) :D


An older, white haired gentleman walked into a jewellery store one
Friday evening, with a beautiful young lady on his arm.

He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a
£5,000 ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more
special.'

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought
out another ring . 'Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000' the
jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it'

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man said that he would pay by cheque. 'I know you will need to make sure it is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll collect the ring Monday afternoon' he said.

Monday morning, the jeweller phoned the old man saying 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know' said the old man, 'but let me tell you about my weekend!'

Remember, not all Seniors Are Senile.

[Smokin Soon]

A very touching story to share with you.



       







There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God

with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what

it was about.



The letter read:         Dear God,


I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.  Yesterday

someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I

had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I

had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I

have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are

my only hope. Can you please answer my prayer and help me?

                                Sincerely, Edna


The postal worker was very touched. He showed the letter to all the

other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with

a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,

which they put into an envelope and sent it to the woman. The rest of

the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the

dinner she would be able to share with her friends on Christmas.

Christmas came and went.  A few days later, another letter came from

the same old lady to God.  All the workers gathered around while the

letter was opened.



It read:     Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of

your answer to my prayer and gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious

dinner for my friends as we celebrated the birth of your son. We had a

very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.


By the way, there was $4 missing.  I think it must have been those bastards

at the post office.

                                     Sincerely, Edna

[josbocc]

A sunny day about a week from today (Late January 2009).

An older gentleman walks up to the White House gate.  The Marine sentry at the gate asks the man, "Can I help you Sir?"  The older gentleman replies, "I'd like to meet with President Bush."  The Marine sentry replies, "I'm sorry Sir, President Bush is no longer the President, and he no longer resides here."  The older gentleman nods, smiles at the Marine, and simply walks away.

The next day the same gentleman approaches the same Marine sentry at the White House gate.  The Marine asks again, "May I help you Sir."  The gentleman again replies, "I'd like to meet with President Bush."  The Marine sighs, then states, "I'm sorry Sir, President Bush is no longer the President, and he no longer resides here."  The older gentleman nods, smiles politely, and again walks away.

The next day, it's the same older gentleman, the same Marine sentry, and again, the same question.  "May I help you Sir."  The gentleman replies, "I'd like to meet with President Bush."  The Marine, now obviously getting somewhat annoyed states, "Sir, for the third day in a row you've asked to meet with President Bush, and for the third day in a row I am telling you that Mr. Bush is no longer the President, and he no longer resides here.  Don't you understand what I'm telling you?"

The older gentlemen smiles politely and replies matter-of-factly, "I understand completely, I just love hearing you say it."  The Marine sentry grins from ear to ear, snaps to attention, and states in a firm, typical US Marine voice, "Affirmative Sir, see you tomorow."

Welcome to the end of the "Reign of Error."

[bigredsmoker]

 >:( >:( >:( Not everyone shares your missguided sense of humor.

[josbocc]

BigRed,

Not looking to offend anyone..., the only thing that I see that's misguided here is the way that this Country has been led for the past 8 years. 

Bring our Troops Home!!!

[bigredsmoker]

Like I said...Missguided.

[Smoking Duck]

There's only two things I stay away from regardless whether it's my kin family or forum family (unless you know that they share your particular point of view).  Religion and politics....neither one of those topics ever comes out good.  Plus, there are a lot here who don't share in your feelings( I also suspect there are those who do share your feeling)......additionally, it's a retread joke from the Clinton days. 

People are more than free to share their political views......you just run the risk of alienating yourself from some folks.  It's just my point of view, mind you, but I'd really rather keep my friends here than to run the risk of losing one just to make a point that cannot be won or lost.

Now, back on to the funny jokes..............I enjoy reading these.

[Tenpoint5]

There's only two things I stay away from regardless whether it's my kin family or forum family (unless you know that they share your particular point of view).  Religion and politics....neither one of those topics ever comes out good.  Plus, there are a lot here who don't share in your feelings( I also suspect there are those who do share your feeling)......additionally, it's a retread joke from the Clinton days. 

People are more than free to share their political views......you just run the risk of alienating yourself from some folks.  It's just my point of view, mind you, but I'd really rather keep my friends here than to run the risk of losing one just to make a point that cannot be won or lost.

Now, back on to the funny jokes..............I enjoy reading these.

I Agree Duck, I don't like politicians on the rightside or politicians on the leftside. I like them in the middle. They are easier to hit that way.

[HCT]

 :-X :-X :-X

[bigredsmoker]

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it,
because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

[pensrock]

Winter time statistic:

98% OF AMERICANS SAY 'OH $*!T' BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM  PENNSYLVANIA   AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS.'  ;D

[Smoking Duck]

 ;D ;D ;D

You and I resemble that remark.  In fact, my wife refers to the handles just above the door in the car as "Oh, Sh*t" handles  ;D