Funny story of the day

[West Coast Kansan]

  :D  :D  :D True bliss  ;D

[manxman]

A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin. Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness.


He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. "My darring," he whispers, "I know dis you firss time and you berry frighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want. You  juss ask. Whatchu want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her.


A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, " I want to try someting I have heard about from other girls... Numbaa 69."


More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her...


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"You want... Garlic Chicken with corrifrowa??

[iceman]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Way to funny Manx!!!!! ;D ;D

[projump]

>         George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
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>         Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we
> use.....
>         The best way to stop using so much gas is to
> deport 11 million illegal immigrants!
>         That would be 11 million less people using
> our gas. The price of gas would come down.....
>
>
>         Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the
> Border....
>         When they catch an illegal immigrant
> crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and
> some ammo and ship him to Iraq ....
>         Tell him if he wants to come to America then
> he must serve a tour in the military.....
>         Give him a soldier's pay while he's there
> and tax him on it.....
>         After his tour, he will be allowed to become
> a citizen since he defended this country......
>         He will also be registered to be taxed and
> be a legal patriot......
>         This option will probably deter illegal
> immigration and provide a solution for the troops in
> Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for
> themselves......
>         If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq
> anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.....
>         Problem solved.....
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>         If you think this is a good solution to both
> the problems, forward it to your
> friends.............
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>         I just did..........
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>         George Carlin 
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[iceman]

ED ZACHARY DISEASE
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date in quite some time.  She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a therapist.  Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese therapist, Dr Chang.  So she went to see him.
Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all your crose."
The woman did as she was told.
"Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room."  Again the woman did as she was instructed.
Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me."  So she did.
Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your problem vewy bad.  You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see.  Dat why you not haf dates."
Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary disease?"
Dr. Chang sighed deeply, and replied:  "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look ed zachary  same as other end.

[coyote]

Great one Manxman !!! :D :D..................Iceman.....you really do know  8)




Coyote

[manxman]

Hahaha..... nice one Pat.   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[manxman]

Woman was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.  Her husband walked in and she turned and said,  "You've got to make love to me this very minute."

His eyes lit up and he thought,  "Hey, this is my lucky day, she must think I'm soooo s*xy."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all.........right there on the kitchen table.  Afterwards she said,  "Thanks,"  and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"

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> "Ah", she explained,  "The egg timer's  broken."

[Consiglieri]

All my favorites, especially Mr. Zachory and the numbaa 69.

And Manx: quit talking to my wife! ;)

[manxman]

And Manx: quit talking to my wife!

Hahaha......  :D :D :D :D

[headgames]

It's Saturday night and Superman is especially ready to party after a hard week of saving the world.

So he throws on his cape and heads off to a party. Along the way, he passes Wonder Woman's penthouse suite.
To his surprise, he sees through her open window that she is still at home, naked in her bed, lying spread eagle on her back.

Superman thinks to himself, "I'm faster than a speeding bullet. I can fly in there, have sex with her and be gone before she knows it."

So in an instant, Superman flies in, does the deed, and flies back out.

At this point, Wonder Woman sits up and says, "Did you hear something?"

"No," replies the Invisible Man, "but my butt is killing me.
;D

[West Coast Kansan]

 :D  :D  :D Headgames that is horrible  :D  :D  :D sick, sick  :D :D :D

[manxman]

Sick but FUNNY!!!!  :D :D :D

[headgames]

hmmmmmmmmm  well  there are 2 types of jokes .......... clean jokes .... and good jokes ......

What is the difference between a 18 year old prostitute . and a 60 year old prostitute ...............

one uses  KY ....... the other  POLYGRIP ................ :o



If I pushed the envelope of acceptable jokes too far let me know . ;D

[Wildcat]

Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!"



Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.



"Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think there's another one coming."



Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.



"Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" Said the doctor.



Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.



"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems theres yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.



The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,



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"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"