Funny story of the day

[mikecorn.1]

The first blonde guy joke?

The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait!

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, ' Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too..'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.


The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'



(Oh this is GOOD!!)

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, 'Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch!  :D ;D

[ghost9mm]

 :D :D :D

[SoCalBuilder]

Evidently it wan't any of NEPA's homemade Bologna! ;D ;D

[Wildcat]

The Green Thing
                                                                                                     
  In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because       
  plastic bags weren't good for the environment.                                                                     
                                                                                                                     
  The woman apologized to him and explained,                                                                         
   "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."                                                                   
                                                                                                                     
  The clerk responded, "That's our problem today..  Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."     
                                                                                                                     
  He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.                                             
                                                                                                                     
  Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the   
  plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over.  So they really     
  were recycled.                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                     
  But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.                                                                 
                                                                                                                     
  We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the       
  grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.                   
                                                                                                                     
  But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.                                                       
                                                                                                                     
  Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind.  We dried clothes on a line,   
  not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes.  Kids   
  got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.                             
                                                                                                                     
  But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day.                                         
                                                                                                                     
  Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size
  of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .                                 
                                                                                                                     
  In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us.   
                                                                                                                     
  When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not           
  Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.                                                                                   
                                                                                                                     
  Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on     
  human power.  We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate   
  on electricity.                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                     
  But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.                                                         
                                                                                                                     
  We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink
  of water.                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                     
  We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead
  of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.                                                   
                                                                                                                     
  But we didn't have the green thing back then.                                                                       
                                                                                                                     
  Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning     
  their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.                                                                             
                                                                                                                     
  We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.  And we didn't   
  need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find     
  the nearest pizza joint.                                                                                           
                                                                                                                     
  But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the     
  green thing back then?                                                                                             
  Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a 'smart ass' young   
  person.

[ghost9mm]

At 74 I can laugh at this... :D

[3rensho]

Me too.  That is too right!!

[iceman]

Oh so true cat man!!! Good reminder. Thanks for the post.  :)

[squirtthecat]

I loved those 16oz glass bottles of Pepsi...       I'd drink them warm out of the bottle. (yeah, I was a weird kid)   ;)

[Quarlow]

I wish we could go back to those ways. Before my kids were born my wife and I lived on a cattle ranch in the boony's. We had no electricity. We had a power plant for washing clothes once a week, 2 channels on tv when we were lucky and hot water in the winter cause it would went threw the woodstove. I could sight in my guns in the front yard and if that dang deer eat my garden during hunting season we had fresh meat for the winter.  ;D My boss who lived a mile away had a radio telephone if you really had to make a call otherwise we waited till we went to town twice a month to make those calls. Damn I wish I could go back to that.

[iceman]

I wish we could go back to those ways. Before my kids were born my wife and I lived on a cattle ranch in the boony's. We had no electricity. We had a power plant for washing clothes once a week, 2 channels on tv when we were lucky and hot water in the winter cause it would went threw the woodstove. I could sight in my guns in the front yard and if that dang deer eat my garden during hunting season we had fresh meat for the winter.  ;D My boss who lived a mile away had a radio telephone if you really had to make a call otherwise we waited till we went to town twice a month to make those calls. Damn I wish I could go back to that.

DITTO!!!!  ;D  ;)

[3rensho]

I remember that some gas stations still had pumps with a glass tank on top.  You pulled a long handle back and forth to pump the gas up into the glass tank and then let gravity drain it into your tank.  The soda machines had glass bottles sitting in cold water. 

[ghost9mm]

 Truck for Sale

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, 'Where  did you get that truck???!!!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.'

'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

'Well,' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.' So the parents began to yell even louder. 'Who   would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said.


'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past   on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.'

'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go  right up there and see what's going on.' So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady   lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!


He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen  dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but  learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back.

He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the  money.


So I did.'

[ronbeaux]

Dooohhhh!

[pensrock]

 ;D ;D ;D

[mikecorn.1]

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