Funny story of the day

[Wildcat]

Check out this guy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8qFBvnUGSM&feature=youtu.be

[Sailor]

That is amazing. 

[iceman]

That is something else!  :)

[Salmonsmoker]

He looks so nonchalant  and relaxed through the whole performance!

[Tenpoint5]

Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this week-end and my fiancee thinks I'm a virgin, is there anything you can do to help me"?After the doctor stopped laughing, he says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try on your wedding night. When you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh, when your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."The woman loves this idea, and knows her hubby-to-be will fall for this.They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man. Things begin to progress, her hubby "slips it in", she snaps the elastic band, and the hubby yells "What the 0 was that?"The wife explains, "Oh, nothing honey ... that was just my virginity snapping."The husband cries out, "Well snap it again - it's got my balls!"

[standles]

First time I have laughed out loud in a while.  That one will make the lunch crowd tomorrow.  ;D

[beefmann]

 
A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"

God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
   
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had
another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the  ambulance?"

God replied: "0! I didn't recognize you."

[ragweed]

Good one, Beefmann!  LOL, no really!!

[Wildcat]

Loved it!

[terry08]

Lol

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[terry08]

A father shark and his son were circling some swimmers. After awhile dad said let's eat, when all had been eaten he asked his son how they tasted? He said fine, but why do we circle them? Dad replied, they taste better after they've been purged.

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[beefmann]

The middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones.  The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she'd send her husband a text while she was out of the house having coffee with a friend.  She texted:

         

        If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

        If you are laughing, send me your smile.

        If you are eating, send me a bite.

    If you are drinking, send me a sip.

    If you are crying, send me your tears.

    I love you.

     

    The husband, being a no-nonsense sort of guy, texted back:

     

    I'm on the toilet.  Please advise.

[GusRobin]

An army Major visiting the sick soldiers, went to one private and asked, "What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic syphilis, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," said the Major.

He went to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic piles, Sir."
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man," barked the Major.

He moved to the next bed, "What's your problem, Soldier?"

"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir!"

[3rensho]

No comment -

[Saber 4]

That one is to funny...... ;D