Funny story of the day

[Wildcat]

 :D :D :D

[bigredsmoker]

 Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer."

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large "kegs". Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship."

In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer term form of servitude and punishment  referred to as "marriage." Men are much more susceptible to this scam  after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please! Forward this warning to every male you know. 

If you fall victim to this "Beer" scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.  For the support group nearest you, just look up Golf Courses" in the phone book.

[manxman]

Alternative nursery rhymms:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh1t, it's Global Warming.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
"What have u got there?"
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you d1ckhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was g@y.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her @ss
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

[La Quinta]

I gotta go with the Simple Simon one, Manx!!! :) Too funny!!!

[HCT]

Three Italian nuns go to heaven and God says, "You've been so amazing, I'm going to send you back as anyone you want to be." Nun one says she wants to be Bridget Bardot, God says, "Granted ", and sends her back down to earth. Nun 2 says she wants to go back as Gina Lollabrigida, God says "Granted, have a great time." and sends her back to earth. Nun number 3 says she wants to go back as Sahara Pipaleeni. God says, " Who the hell is she? I've never heard of her." Nun number 3 pulls out a newspaper and shows it to God, it reads.................
v
v
v
v
v
are you ready for this?????????????????
v
v
v
v
v
v
Sahara Pipeline laid by 230 men.
;D


 

[bigredsmoker]

Good one RCT  ;D

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

[LilSmoker]

The Bad Doctor:


A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."

"That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps etc. "Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he couldn't contain himself any longer, he started making mad passionate love to the beautiful patient. He was going like a steam train!, and mumbled to the woman, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said. "You're getting a 5exually transmitted disease, which is why I came here in the first place."

;)

[manxman]

Hahaha............. ;) :D

[Wildcat]

 :D :D Real good one LS!  ;D

[Wildcat]

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.

[Wildcat]

Globalization-definition

At It's Best!


  Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

  Answer: Princess Diana's death.

  Question: How come?

   Answer: An English princess

   with an Egyptian boyfriend

   crashes in a French tunnel,

   driving a German car

   with a Dutch engine,

   driven by a Belgian who was drunk

   on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)

   followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,

   on Japanese motorcycles;

   treated by an American doctor,

   using Brazilian medicines.

   This is sent to you by an Englishman ,

   using Bill Gates's technology,

   and you're probably reading this on your computer,

   that use Taiwanese chips,

   and a Korean monitor,

   assembled by Bangladeshi workers

   in a Singapore plant,

   transported by Indian lorry-drivers,

   hijacked by Indonesians,

   unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,

   and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

   That, my friends, is Globalization

[acords]

[bigredsmoker]

Good one Acords  :D appropriate coming from a Minnesota guy! It's cold down her in Nebraska as well, and suposed to get colder the rest of the week. Stay warm!!

Terry

[3rensho]

So true Wildcat!!  I've seen sheep casings taken from sheep in New Zealand, sent to China for processing and then shipped to the US for sale.  Hard to grasp.