Funny story of the day

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D Good one LS!

[Wildcat]

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his Valentine's Day gift. His wife was really angry.
She told him 'Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!'

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. 


Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.

[coyote]

Hey Wildcat , Thank you for providing my Valentines Day bit. ;D I know my listeners will love it. 8)

Coyote

[LilSmoker]

After his annual checkup, Bob is shocked to learn that he has somehow
contracted a rare disease and has only twelve hours to live. Arriving home in
utter despair, he tells his wife the terrible news and begins to cry. Overcome
with grief, Helen hugs him tight and says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night
you'll never forget!"
They go to bed early and make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt
in years. When they're done, Bob turns to his wife and says, "Honey, that was
*wonderful,* the best we've ever had. Can we do it again?" This time it's even
more passionate. Later, as Helen is about to doze off, Bob gives her a nudge and
says, "Honey, come on. How about one more time?"

Helen softly whispers..........................











"That's easy for you to say. You don't have to get up in the morning!" 

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

[coyote]

 :D ;D :D

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

[HCT]

Good one. ha

[car54]

Dear John,
I hope you can help me.
The other day I set off for work leaving my husband on the couch watching TV as usual.
I got a few hundred yards down the road when the car just conked out and shuddered to a halt.
I walked back home to get my husbands help.
When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. Parading in front of the mirror was my husband
dressed in my underwear, lingerie, high heels and make up. I am 32 my husband 34 and we have been married for 12 years.
When I confronted him he broke down and confessed he had been wearing my underwear and lingerie for 6months.
He was let go from his job 6 months ago and said he has been feeling worthless and depressed.

Can you please Help.
Susie

Dear Susie,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be a variety of faults from the engine.
Start by checking there is no debris or dirt in the fuel line or filter.
If that is ok then check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum hose to the inlet manifold.
If that is ok then it could be the fuel pump itself is faulty causing low fuel pressure to the injector chamber.

I hope this helps
Dear John

[Wildcat]

 ;D :D ;D

[Wildcat]

LORD, THEY'RE FINALLY TOGETHER ...

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.

She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died.

But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.

She finally died after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
'Lord, they're finally together.'

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend,
' Do you think he means her first, second or third husband? '

The friend replied, ' I think he means her legs.'

[LilSmoker]

That's funny Wildcat!

[West Coast Kansan]

Whoaa, didn't see that one coming  :D  :D   :D

[coyote]

Blind sided by the Wildcat :o....Great one :D :D :D

Coyote

[iceman]

Amen!!! :D :D :D :D