Funny story of the day

[3rensho]

LOL  ;D ;D

[Mr Walleye]

Better Than A Flu Shot

Miss Beatrice, the church organist,
Was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed
him into her quaint sitting room.  She invited him to have a seat
while she prepared tea.  As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,
The young minister noticed cute glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated,

of all things, a condom!  When she returned with tea and scones,
They began to chat, the pastor tried to stifle his curiosity
about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but
soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.


'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this?'
Pointing to the bowl.
'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through the Park a few months ago
and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ,
keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of
disease.  Do you know I haven't had the flu -
'All winter.'

[beefmann]

LOL gonna have to remember that  one

[LilSmoker]

Haha! nice one Mike, here's another:

Tight Skirt, Bus Stop   

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.
Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifted up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

[Wildcat]

 :D :D :D :D

[iceman]

Way too funny LS!!!  :D

[manxman]

Excellent!  :D :D :D :D

[coyote]

 :D :D :D That was great ! 8)

[Wildcat]

Test Results

The phone rings, and the lady of the house answers,

'Hello.'

'Hello Mrs. Sanders, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Sanders.

'Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'

[iceman]

That sounds like my insurance company cat man.  :D ;) Good one.

[LilSmoker]

That's good Wildcat certainly made me chuckle!

[La Quinta]

  :D  :D  :D

[car54]

A man finds a bottle with a genie inside who is willing to grant him 1 wish. The man says, "I like Hawaii but I don't like planes or boats so make a bridge from San Fransisco to Hawaii". The genie tried to challenge the man into making a more socially important wish. The man thought for a minute and asked  the genie, "Explain the feminine mind to me". The genie thinks for a couple of seconds and replies, "Do you want a 2 or 4 lane bridge."

[bigredsmoker]

California  vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot  Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new  hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected  to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the  bathroom during the night.


The new  wine will be marketed as

PINO  MORE

[La Quinta]

You really didn't type that out did you BigRed????