Funny story of the day

[manxman]

A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human race appear?'

The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her mother the same question.

The mother answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human Race was created by God, and Mom said they developed from monkeys?'


The father answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your mother told you about hers.'

[Tenpoint5]

Not intended to tork off the cat lovers, But finally something fun to do with cats.

http://www.bravozulu.com/content/released/lets_play.swf

[Mr Walleye]

All right!!

175 on my 3rd try.... I'm quiting will I'm ahead!  :D

Mike

[Wildcat]

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy ), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'good grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.

[Mr Walleye]

That's good WildCat!  :D

Mike

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

[3rensho]

Excellent  ;D ;D ;D ;D

[bigredsmoker]

OLE'S BEE ACCIDENT

Ole is out on the farm plowing,plowing the back 40.  Suddenly Ole needs to take a leak.  He jumps off his tractor, drops his pants, and begins to relieve himself.  Poor Ole, doesn't realize he's peeing on a hornets nest buried in the field.

Suddenly Ole is surrounded by a swarm of angry, wet bee's and he gets stung multiple times right on his tallywacker.  By golly, this really hurts, so Ole runs like the dickens to the farm house and calls the doctor.
Ole says, 'Hey Doc, I vas just out back plowin ya know, when I had to pee and by golly I peed right on a hornets nest, and they stung me right on my tallywacker, and she burns someting terrible'.  'Vat can ya do to help me dere Doc'?

The Doctor replies, 'Well now Ole, if I was you, I'd stick my tallywacker in a bowl of warm buttermilk'.  'It should relieve the swelling and stop the burning'. That's what I'd do.'

So by now, Ole's unit is swollen up to un-believable proportions.  So he pours  himself a bowl of buttermilk and lays his wacker in the bowl.

Lena enters, and looks at Ole with his member laying in the buttermilk, she pauses for a moment, looks Ole squarely in the eye and says to him.  'Ya know dere Ole, we've been married for nearly 50 years now, and I never could figure out how you re-loaded dat ting'!

[FLBentRider]

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Mr Walleye]

Fire Fighter

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.



The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet.  The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.  The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.  'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire fighter says with admiration.



'Thanks' the girl says.



The firefighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.



'Little Partner', the fire fighter says, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar too - I think you could go faster.'



'The little girl replies thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren!'

[beefmann]

lol... lol.. that isso funny but  true with the youngsters

[LilSmoker]

That's so funny Mike, almost sprayed the keyboard with my morning tea!

[Mr Walleye]

Whether Democrat or Republican, you should get a kick out of this!


A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family , so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy Goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep 0.

[Wildcat]

         
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.

One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, 'I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!'


'IMPOSSIBLE !' said the groom broom.


Are you ready for this?
Brace yourself; this is going to hurt! !! !! !



                         

                 

       


'WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!'

............ ............ .............
I know - a little corny but it
           
Sounds to me like she's .............been ....sweeping around!!! 

[westexasmoker]

HeeHee!

C