Funny story of the day

steve-o · January 19, 2011, 02:50:07 PM

Why some news anchors should simply not discuss hunting‏

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog

Up In Smoke · January 19, 2011, 02:55:55 PM

Wonder does she hunt in georgia?

SoCalBuilder · January 19, 2011, 04:31:18 PM

Only a San Diego girl would know how to really use a turkey call. You Go Girl!

Wildcat · January 19, 2011, 05:25:30 PM

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two
black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to YOU?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a
difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle.

We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of
the cows had something white at its rear end."

"I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball
with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's ass.

Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife,
"*Hey, this looks like yours*!'"

Quarlow · January 19, 2011, 05:26:41 PM

I'd pay for her ticket to come and hunt with me. ;D ;D ;D

Smokin Soon · January 19, 2011, 06:00:44 PM

There was a family gathering, with all generations around
the table.
Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's
drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go
to the bathroom.

When he returned, however, his trousers are wet all over.

"What happened, Grandpa?" he is asked by his concerned children.

'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom.
So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine,
so I put it back!'

smoker pete · January 19, 2011, 08:24:29 PM

Quote from: steve-o on January 19, 2011, 02:50:07 PM
Why some news anchors should simply not discuss hunting‏

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYfDnc42wog

I just gave up fishing ... I'm going turkey hunting with her ;D ;D

rdevous · January 20, 2011, 01:17:12 PM

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...only two left."

Ray

classicrockgriller · January 20, 2011, 03:55:40 PM

They better order some more! ;D

That was funny.

Ka Honu · January 21, 2011, 10:25:32 PM

I saw an Islamic extremist fall into the river this morning; he was struggling to stay afloat because of all the guns and bombs he was carrying. Along with him was an illegal alien drug cartel member who was also struggling to stay afloat because of the large pack of drugs that was strapped to his back. I knew if they didn't get help, they'd surely drown.

Being a responsible and law-abiding citizen and feeling honor-bound to help those in distress, I immediately informed the Sheriff 's Office and Homeland Security.

It is now 4pm, both have drowned, and neither authority has responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps

3rensho · January 21, 2011, 10:40:43 PM

;D ;D

pensrock · January 22, 2011, 06:42:34 AM

;D ;D ;D

rdevous · January 22, 2011, 09:04:25 AM

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked!

'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

Ray

OU812 · January 22, 2011, 03:27:53 PM

Now that was funny. :D :D :D

rdevous · January 22, 2011, 11:56:55 PM

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a Kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Ray