Funny story of the day

[BuyLowSellHigh]

Yep, seems to fit with the Fed's.  I find it incredibly sad that as American citizens we end up thinking that way about our government employees.

[Wildcat]

This is so funny.  It is a clip with Bill Cosby. This lady lives in North, South

Carolina .  She originally lived in Due West, South Carolina

( Abbeville County ).



       Watch the video.




       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGRKTkS7pW8

[3rensho]

Now that is funny.  I bet Groucho was smiling too.  Thanks for the link.

[Tenpoint5]

How fast can you guess these words?


1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X   
4. P_N_S   
5. BOO_S
6. _ _NDOM
 

[Tenpoint5]

 Answers:







1. FORK
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM


You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

[3rensho]

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

Yes I did  ;D ;D ;D

[Ka Honu]

You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

I'm proud to say I did.

[Tiny Tim]

Only got 1 wrong...said "Boots" for #5. :)

[TestRocket]

My brain is in the gutter!  :o

[DarqMan]

Since my forum settings are set to dislay latest post first i got them all right ;D

[classicrockgriller]

A circus owner runs
an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in
his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This
is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good
or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair,  whip and a gun.
Who wants to try out first?"

The  girl says, "I'll go first."  She  walks
past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's
cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About
halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked
body.

The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts
licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire
body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a
display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired golfer
and asks, "Can you top that?"

The  tough old golfer replies,

"No problem, just get that lion out of there."

[Smokin Soon]

Learn from your elders


  A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easy.
So the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists saying that the game is a lot of fun.  I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5.  Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the senior's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question.  'What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?'
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now it's the senior's turn.  He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.  After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500.  The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.


The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.  He wakes the senior up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?'

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

[rdevous]

Cool Facts about the Human Body!

-Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream.
 
-The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm.
 
-You use 200 muscles to take one step.
 
-The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
 
-Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.
 
-A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands.
 
-A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.
 
-The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.
 
-It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
 
-The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
 
-Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
 
-At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
 
-There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
 
-Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.
 
-The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.
 
-Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born.
 
-When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.
 
-Your thumb is the same length of your nose.
 
At this very moment I know you are putting this last fact to the test!!!
 
This will either give you something to explain your stinky feet to your wife or make sure you wash your hands after taking your shoes and socks off!!!
 
 
Ray
 
 

[Wildcat]

Gosh,
I'm rich!

Silver
in the Hair

Gold
in the Teeth

Stones
in the Kidneys

Sugar
in the Blood.

Lead
in the BUTT

Iron
in the Arteries

And
an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas.

I never thought I'd accumulate such wealth.

[iceman]

Good one cat man!  :D