Funny story of the day

[RAF128]

One more,,,,, If a redneck couple get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?

[BuyLowSellHigh]

26.  You owe your taxidemist more than you paid to the IRS last year.

[iceman]

26.  You owe your taxidermist more than you paid to the IRS last year.

Dang!!! Whimper whimper  :'( All these years and I just find out I must be part redneck.  :o  :D  :D  :D

[rdevous]

 
Many rural hiccups opt to take the boastful route, but others have learned not to take themselves too seriously when attempting to make their mark on the memories of passersby. So Gettysburg, South Dakota is "Where the Battle Wasn't." And Manhattan, Kansas is "The Little Apple." How often is it that you can rumble along a rural highway, languidly turn your eyes to a billboard on the side of the road... and burst out laughing? Well, the answer is: More often than you might think.

With that in mind – and in honor of this year's celebration marking the 100th anniversary of the RV – I present the 100 best small-town slogans:

   1. Gettysburg, South Dakota: Where the battle wasn't
   2. Hooker, Oklahoma: It's a location, not a vocation
   3. Linesville, Pennsylvania: Where the ducks walk on the fish
   4. Jewell, Iowa: A gem in a friendly setting
   5. Livonia, New York: Some bigger, none better
   6. Peculiar, Missouri: Where the odds are with you
   7. Spring Lake, Michigan: Where nature smiles for seven miles
   8. Drumright, Oklahoma: Town of oil repute
   9. Boswell, Indiana: Hub of the universe
  10. Superior, Wisconsin: I'm a Superior lover
  11. Forest Junction, Wisconsin: You can get there from here
  12. Moscow, Maine: Best town by a dam site
  13. Garden City, Missouri: A touch of heaven on Highway Seven
  14. Eaton Rapids, Michigan: Welcome to the only Eaton Rapids on Earth
  15. Union Springs, Alabama: Serendipity center of the South
  16. Rockwell City, Iowa: The golden buckle on the Corn Belt
  17. Apex, North Carolina: The peak of good living
  18. Manhattan, Kansas: The Little Apple
  19. Walla Walla, Washington: The city so nice they named it twice
  20. Paradise, California: It's all the name implies
  21. Melbourne, Iowa: Right on top, not down under
  22. San Andreas, California: It's not our fault
  23. Newton Falls, Ohio: The town with zip
  24. Freeland, Pennsylvania: The most happening place on Earth
  25. Gretna, Virginia: Ain't no big thing, but we're growing!
  26. Hereford, Texas: Town without a toothache
  27. Gas, Kansas: Don't pass Gas, stop and enjoy it
  28. Haleyville, Alabama: Home of 911
  29. Littleton, New Hampshire: A notch above
  30. Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin: Winner's choice
  31. Morrison, Colorado: The nearest faraway place
  32. Wahoo, Nebraska: Home of the famous men
  33. Leavenworth, Kansas: How about doin' some 'time' in Leavenworth
  34. Boardman, Oregon: On the river and on the way
  35. Hico, Texas: Where everybody is somebody
  36. Wakefield, Kansas: "It'll take you by surprise!
  37. Beaver Dam, Wisconsin: Make yourself at home
  38. Buckley, Washington: Below the snow, above the fog
  39. Three Rivers, Texas: If you lived in Three Rivers, you'd be home
  40. Bushnell, South Dakota: It's not the end of the Earth, but you can see it from here
  41. Swanton, Nebraska: Dear hearts and gentle people
  42. Hampton, Virginia: First from the sea, first to the stars
  43. Kanab, Utah: Little Hollywood
  44. Shenandoah, Texas: More than just a song
  45. Show Low, Arizona: Named for the turn of a card
  46. Phoenix, Oregon: The other Phoenix
  47. Mexia, Texas: A great place to live no matter how you say it
  48. Blue Earth, Minnesota: Earth so rich, the city grows
  49. Beaman, Iowa: You're not dreamin', you're in Beaman
  50. Beaver, Oklahoma: Cow chip capital
  51. Andover, Kansas: Where the people are warm, even when the weather isn't
  52. Knox, Indiana: Where opportunity knocks
  53. Eastland, Texas: Where the Wild meets the West
  54. Delmar, Maryland: The little town too big for one state
  55. Broadview Heights, Ohio: The highest of the heights
  56. Algoma, Wisconsin: Warm welcomes, cool breezes and hot fishing
  57. Glendive, Montana: Where the best begins
  58. Britt, Iowa: Founded by rail, sustained by the plow
  59. Lodi, California: Livable, lovable Lodi
  60. Cherryfield, Maine: Blueberry Capital of the World
  61. Happy, Texas: The town without a frown
  62. Weed, California: Weed like to welcome you
  63. Ormond Beach, Florida: The birthplace of speed
  64. Lowry City, Missouri: Where the Ozarks meet the Plains
  65. Glenpool, Oklahoma: The town that made Tulsa famous
  66. Addison, Texas: Where Dallas goes for fun
  67. Poniatowski, Wisconsin: Center of the northwestern world
  68. Bangor, Michigan: Train City USA in the heart of Apple Country
  69. Tombstone, Arizona: The town too tough to die
  70. Claxton, Georgia: Fruitcake capital of the world
  71. Hazel Green, Wisconsin: Point of beginning
  72. Desert Hot Springs, California: Clearly above the rest
  73. Dodge City, Kansas: The wickedest little city in America
  74. St. George, Utah: Where the summer sun spends the winter
  75. Eustis, Florida: The city of bright tomorrows
  76. Lufkin, Texas: See the forest for the trees
  77. Hurley, Wisconsin: Where 51 ends, family fun begins
  78. Cairo, Illinois: Where northern enterprise meets southern hospitality
  79. Anita, Iowa: A whale of a town
  80. Harrison, Michigan: Twenty lakes in twenty minutes
  81. Janesville, Wisconsin: Wisconsin's Park Place
  82. Riverside, Iowa: Where the Trek begins
  83. Coachella, California: City of eternal sunshine
  84. Hyder, Alaska: Friendliest ghost town in Alaska
  85. Junction, Texas: Land of living waters
  86. Ashland, Wisconsin: Ashland tops Wisconsin
  87. Bluffton, South Carolina: A state of mind
  88. Whittemore, Iowa: Cares more, shares more
  89. St. Louis, Michigan: Middle of the mitten
  90. Hershey, Pennsylvania: The sweetest place on Earth
  91. Elkhorn, Wisconsin: Living in harmony
  92. Modesto, California: Water, wealth, contentment, health
  93. Burkeville, Virginia: The little town that could
  94. Kingman, Arizona: One grand adventure after another
  95. Jim Thorpe, Pennsylvania: The Switzerland of America
  96. Versailles, Kentucky: History, horses, hospitality
  97. Menomonie, Wisconsin: Traditional yet progressive
  98. Livingston, California: "The last stop"
  99. Jefferson, Wisconsin: The Gumuetlichkeit City
100. Madisonville, Kentucky: The best town on Earth
 
 
Ray

[Quarlow]

#12 for Canada is "Biggar Saskatchewan. The best little town by a dam site".

[RAF128]

The sign outside of Biggar used to read "New York is big but this is Biggar"

[Quarlow]

You know I may be mixing up the signs. It has been 10 years since I was out there.Now that you mention it I think the one near a dam site had another name. Where is my Ginko Biloba. It is about half way between Saskatoon and Regina with the dam right beside the highway.

[RAF128]

 ???.   1/2 way between Saskatoon and Regina is Davidson.   No damn there.   Maybe you're thinking of Outlook.   That's 100 miles SW of Saskatoon and near the Gardiner Damn.   

[Quarlow]

Well you know it was flat and there weren't any trees or mountains so I was basicly lost save for the map. :D :D :D

[classicrockgriller]

    "Even  after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of

people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns aren't smart.  I would  like to state for the record that I disagree

with that assessment.  Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with

Democrats is a damn genius"...... Larry the Cable Guy

[BuyLowSellHigh]

 ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D   ;D

Best one I heard in a long time !

[GusRobin]

Should have built it bigger -fit more of them in it.

[ArnieM]

Gee, only 5 feet?  The dykes (no offense to some) looked a lot higher than that.

[Wildcat]

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.  It is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.  I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.  Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood?  Remember, you will be forgiven, and in your heart you will feel glory.  Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew.  Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke.

"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding.  I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan.  I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared!

[FLBentRider]

*This is priceless - would love to do this.*

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.  Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,
and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey.  She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven. When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.  When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"  At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!



Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!