Funny story of the day

[rdevous]

 
 
This just in from a friend of mine and could not wait to add here.............
 
 
A Bedtime Story!

Click on the link below to hear Samuel L. Jackson read a bedtime story to his child. This is perhaps one of the funniest things I have heard in a long time. Make sure the kids aren't around....
 
http://www.youtube.com/embed/SwwtO5viUDE
 

Ray
 

[3rensho]

Oh yeah, that's a classic!!!  ;D ;D ;D

[OU812]

Theres a whole book of bed time stories like that on the shelfs.

Got a bunch of folks upset,,,I think its funnier than crap.


Oh Ya,,,,,,,,my wife is from Nebraska too.  ::)

[ghost9mm]

Catholic Heart Attack
 
You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!!!
 
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. 

A store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. 

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
 
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to. 

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded with several forms, and a pen. 

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
 
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
 
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
 
He replied, "No money in the bank."
 
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.
 
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
 
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!  Nuns are married to God."
 
The patient replied, "Perfect.  Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

[TestRocket]

LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and
he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker
if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just started to read her book,
replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"

" Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is
no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled
smugly.

"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me
ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that
is?"

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified
to discuss why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after
death, when you don't know $h!t?"

And then she went back to reading her book.

[ghost9mm]

 :D :D :D :D

[devo]

Woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day

One day, he motioned for her to come closer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, you know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side...

You know what Martha?'

'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

'I'm beginning to think you're bad luck

[ghost9mm]

 :D :D :D

[rdevous]

 
Redneck paintball duck hunt...................are you the duck or the hunter???
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_t5Z-YjwEs 
 
You know and I know that there are forum brothers who WOULD DO THIS!!! LOL
 
 
Ray
 

[iceman]

 
Redneck paintball duck hunt...................are you the duck or the hunter???
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_t5Z-YjwEs 
 
You know and I know that there are forum brothers who WOULD DO THIS!!! LOL
 
 
Ray
 

I don't think I could consume enough adult beverages to even think about doing that!!!    :o  :D  ;D

[OU812]

 
Redneck paintball duck hunt...................are you the duck or the hunter???
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_t5Z-YjwEs 
 
You know and I know that there are forum brothers who WOULD DO THIS!!! LOL
 
 
Ray
 

I don't think I could consume enough adult beverages to even think about doing that!!!    :o  :D  ;D

We've been trying to figure out were we could get one of those big floaties, got the man lift.  ;D

[devo]

[rdevous]

 
YEP!!!


Ray

[ghost9mm]

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT


GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRACY




** Lord's prayer:............................................................66 words.




** 10 Commandments: ...............................................179 words.




** Gettysburg address: ...............................................286 words.




** Declaration of Independence : .............................1,300 words.




** US Constitution with 27 Amendments : ................ 7,818 words.




** US Government regulations on sale of cabbage:  26,911 words

[rdevous]

 
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.  Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.  'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL!  Put in some more butter!  Oh my gosh!  You're cooking too many at once.  TOO MANY!  Turn them!  TURN THEM NOW!  We need more butter.  Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?  They're going to STICK!  Careful.  CAREFUL!  I said be CAREFUL!  You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!  Never!  Turn them!  Hurry up!  Are you CRAZY?  Have you LOST your mind?  Don't forget to salt them.  You know you always forget to salt them.  Use the! Salt.  USE THE SALT!  THE SALT!'
 
The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you?  You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'
 
The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
 
 
Ray.............what were the hospital visiting hours again?