Funny story of the day

[Wildcat]

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. !

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

[coyote]

My Goodness Wildcat ! That is great stuff !!!! No wonder I don't have to pay for a prep service. This
stuff is killer. Keep it comming. 8)

Coyote

[Consiglieri]

I love that one, especially the three pairs of shoes part.  One addendum: No one stares at your chest except to read your t-shirt.  Or to decide if those words on your t-shirt are really on your t-shirt.

And, by the way, we've already begun the thankgiving weekend "packing negotiation."  We're still getting used to travelling with the baby.  I'll concede, of course....  eventually....  Better be some room left for some golf clubs, though. 

[Wildcat]

If there is no room for my golf clubs, then there is no room for me.

[LilSmoker]

That's good Wildcat, and very true!  ;D ;)

[LilSmoker]

Here's another :


An 80-year old man goes for physical. All tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"

George replies: "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get in up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom - The light goes on.

When I'm done, The light goes off."

"Wow, that's incredible," says the doctor.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.

"Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, the light goes off?"

"Oh my God!" Ethel exclaims. "He's pi**ing in the fridge again!"

;)

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D :D

[HCT]

 :D :D :D :D :D

[manxman]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D

[West Coast Kansan]

A "heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.
Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be
quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or  your friends.

Here's how the scam works:


Two seriously good-looking girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and windex, with their breasts almost
falling out   of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a rideto another Home Depot or Lowe's. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over
into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen  October 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th,  &   24th. Also  November 1st,  2nd, twice on the 3rd, three times just yesterday and very likely this coming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

[LilSmoker]

You rascal WCK!  ;)

We have B & Q over here instead of Home Depot,.....................I wonder?  ;D

[Mr Walleye]

So tell your friends to be careful.

Careful!.... He11 my friends would be lined up!

Mike

[Wildcat]

 ;D ;D ;D

[HCT]

I need some supplies. ;D

[manxman]

We have B & Q over here instead of Home Depot,.....................I wonder?

Went up to our local B+Q six times today.... no sign of them!!  ;) :D