Funny story of the day

[pensrock]

 :D ;D ;D ;D

[Mr Walleye]

Subject: Fun at Retirement

I CAN NOT WAIT. . .

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their
days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop..
I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was
a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a
break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.'

He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.
So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second
ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't
care. I came downtown on the bus.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.


Mike

[coyote]

Mike , That was great.....I'm gonna steal that one ;D



Coyote

[manxman]

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom", he asked, "Are these my brains?"
"Not yet," she replied.

[3rensho]

LOL Manx.  Good one and sooooo true.   ;D ;D ;D

[coyote]

Manx....That was GREAT !!! 8)



Coyote

[chrispy]

Manx,

I think that is the best short joke I have ever heard!!!
Chrispy

[westexasmoker]

And then you get married........Nevermind!  ;D

C

[hillbillysmoker]

Borrowed from another forum...

The BBQ Song


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ubTQfr_tyY

[chrispy]

I knew that short joke long before I was married!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Chrispy

[Tenpoint5]

I knew that short joke long before I was married!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

Chrispy

Boy Do I ever Hope your talking about how tall you aint Chrispy or you will NEVER live that one down!! :D :D ;D

[chrispy]

ALL IN THE NAME OF GOOD HUMOR!!!

[Wildcat]

Whether Democrat or Republican, you should get a kick out of this!

 
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ' What is Politics ? '

Dad says, ' Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family , so call me The President .

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so! we call her the
Government .

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you
the People.


The nanny, we will consider her the
Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future .

Now think about that and see if it makes sense. '

So the little boy! Goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely
soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parents ' room and finds his mother asleep. 
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny ' s room Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, ' Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '

The father says, ' Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about. '

The little boy replies,
'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the
Future is in deep 0.

[HCT]

A young man asked a Bennington horse trader what he wanted for a mare.

"I'll take a hundred and a half for her," the trader said.

"But she don't look so good." replied the young man.

They haggled a bit and, finally, the new owner went off with his purchase. He was back again the next day and pretty riled up.

"What's the matter with that horse," he demanded. "She ran me right off the road."

"Been blind for a year," the horse trader admitted. "Told you that she didn't look so good."

[manxman]

 :D :D :D

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.


His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob ifhe'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,


'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'